I want to inscribe this on the moon. I want to put it to the tune of Yankee Doodle and make it the national anthem. I want it to be subliminally played underneath all of television. I want to encode its words as genetics and develop a virus so that it is embedded into humanity’s very genetic code. One day we’re going to decode what crop circles meant, and find it was aliens trying to point us at this essay. Stonehenge was a place for us to sit and read this. The Tower of Babel was really just about making sure everybody could read *this*, the other words humanity wrote were secondary. The mic drop at the end of this essay will hit the earth’s core.

In summary: it was okay, I guess. Don’t let my joking tone detract from the fact that this might be the best thing I have ever read on what it is to be human