When cats…

Two of my best friends are cats, Marley and Charity. So I’m pretty qualified to help you recognize when your cats are having specific frustrations, desires, or other thoughts, with illustrative pictures.

For example…

This is when cats are annoyed they haven’t lost weight as quickly as they’d hoped.

This is when cats start questioning if there really is a Santa Claus.

This is when cats pose for their emo bands’ album covers.

This is when cats had a little bit too much fun last night and regret it in the morning.

This is when cats keep secrets.

This is when cats tell you for the third time to stop asking when they’ll try to read “Infinite Jest” again, because it’ll happen when it happens and not everyone is as fast a reader as you or as intrigued by Wallace’s style.

This is when cats lament that there’s got to be a better way to do the laundry.

This is when cats remind you that just because they’re cats doesn’t mean they know every other cat.

And lastly, this is when cats are upset that you won’t delete one frickin’ episode of “Mad Men” so they have enough space to record “The Lion King”.