Sales Training

All right guys, welcome to day one of training. Go ahead with the bagels and strawberry schmear or whatever they brought in, I’m gonna be talking for a while. My name is Allison Hohenzollern-Reed and I’ve been working with MRC for eight years. I’m descended from Luxenberg royalty, I hit the genetic jackpot, and as you may have noticed I’m really hot. I know exactly who I am and what I want and that’s gotten me a long way in life, so whether you’re coming back tomorrow or not I suggest you listen to me really carefully.

I remember when I was you, on my first day of training, and hearing the trainer — that was Ryan by the way and you’ll be working with him later — make it very clear that the job was performance based, that out of the 50 people in that class, 10 would be gone in a week, and that within a month half of us would be in slippers holding a highlighter over the job page in the local paper, with that “oh shit, what am I gonna do” feeling. Well you know what, I don’t like that feeling and I needed a job. It’s kind of hard to live without one, don’t ya think? So I’m sitting there listening to that and am I thinking, gosh, I wish this was more cushy and I was protected by a union or something, and maybe this isn’t gonna work out and I should start scanning job boards? No, fuck that. I immediately make the decision, this is what it is and I will be the last one standing. Now that’s a nice sentiment, right, anybody can think that, at least for a little while. But I meant it, and I told myself that I would listen to every single thing those people told me, trusting that they knew what worked given that the company was hugely fucking successful, and I would follow every suggestion to an absolute tee.

I also knew that other factors would play a role: sleep, eating well, clearing myself of any emotional bullshit. I had just started seeing this guy I liked, but making rent was more important so I told him we needed to put it on hold for at least three months. When he came to my house the next night with flowers and asked if we could talk about it I got a restraining order. I did research on diets that gave the maximum amount of energy and I went macro-biotic. So do you think this was important to me? Yeah, uh-huh, it fucking was. Do you think those decisions I made have anything to do with the fact that I’m standing here eight years later training you to do the job I began here with? Uh, yeah. The first question I would ask you to ask yourself is, is this important to you? And if it is important, how important? And if it’s not important, why don’t you just get up right now and leave? Don’t be embarrassed, do it. Because if you go into this half-assed, I can tell you right now, you will be gone soon, it’s that simple. Of those of you who go into it with full conviction, not even all of you will make it. OK, I’m counting, 1, 2, 3, 4 people out the door, I appreciate that, hand your badges to Stacy at the front desk, best of luck to you. Now I’ve got my core group, and let’s talk about how to sell MRC courses, help some kids, and make some fucking money while we’re at it.

You guys have those binders with a lot of background on the company and a lot of information about the product, but just leave that alone for now and let me boil down for you how to be successful at this job. There’s a lot you’re gonna hear from parents at the end of your pitch, reasons they have for not buying: I gotta talk to my husband, not sure about the schedule, we might be going to Disneyland one of those weeks, it’s a lotta money, dah dah dah. Look guys, these are hot leads. These parents picked up the phone for a reason, because they need something for their children. They will not tell you always, but they are incredibly fucking worried that their child is gonna fuck up in school, and if their child fucks up in school what happens? They end up with a 20-year-old still living with them trying to figure out what he’s going to do with his life, working his thumb on that remote, strung out on meth, whatever. So it is your responsibility to help them cast aside the nonsense of objection and get them what they absolutely without a doubt need. If you don’t do that your paycheck will suffer, your job will be in peril, and that’s important, but more important is that you have lost an opportunity to change a child’s life for the better and give his parents some peace of mind.

When I am on the phone I do not take any of these objections seriously. All I am thinking about is how do I get that child what he so desperately needs. Gotta consult with your husband? Get him on another line, I’m not going anywhere. He’s an interstate truck driver and he’s sleeping in the cabin? Wake his ass up and have him pop an extra benny for the drive into Canada, and go on speed dial, lady, cause this class could close before you reach him. He’s an obstetrician in the delivery room right now? Get a nurse in there to tell him his own child’s life is at stake and two clicks with the umbilical clamp means yes. Disneyland is getting in the way? Do you want that to be your kid in the Mickey Mouse costume at 40 years old, or would you rather see him in shirt and tie arguing a legal case? Too much money? Wait a second. Three hundred dollars is looking like a lot of money to you now? How much do you think it’s gonna cost to bail your wayward son out of jail, repeatedly, because he did not get the extra help he needed in school and fell into despondency and a criminal lifestyle? This is the attitude you have to take, because this is the truth.

Now let’s talk a little about you, your mindset when you pick up that phone. You must, in every single call, commit to making the sale. Maybe something’s going on in your life that’s bothering you that day and you’re not really focused, some sales get away from you and now you’re in that mindfuck space and it’s just getting worse. Let’s look at these things that may be going on in your life. What bothers us? Money, jobs, relationships, problems our own children are having. Are any of these things going to improve because you start tanking at selling? Absolutely not. Can some of them get better if you kick ass? Yeah, definitely. So when you find yourself feeling sorry for yourself because of the awful things that are happening to you, ’cause your numbers are down, ’cause the girl slipped away, ’cause Johnny’s getting surly, ’cause there’s an illness, whatever, remind yourself that you have something right in front of you that, if you do it well, can only improve things. Stop the pissing and moaning, get outside of yourself and your problems, do your fucking job, help somebody else get what they need, and see what happens.