Increasingly Inappropriate Responses To Your Sister’s 30th Birthday Request For Botox

— “Oh, okay! I think you look wonderful as you are, but whatever makes you happy!”

— “Of course, if you really want it, sure. But you think you might want to wait a few years? ”

— “Alright, yea.”

— “Huh.”

— “For your 30th birthday?”

— “No.”

— “Ah, so you want to end up acting and looking like Aunt Julie?”

— “Good idea!”

— “Great idea!”

— “Wonderful, because as they are, your eye-wrinkles look like costume eyelashes from Broadway’s ‘The Lion King’”

— “Let’s get Botox done together!”

— “Let’s save some money and just do it ourselves!”

— “Perfect, then you’ll look like less of an accident who I consistently outshined as a child.”

— “You should get a tattoo of where your old wrinkles were on top of the Botox, that way you are always honest with the world, and most importantly, yourself.”

— “Frankly, I think your face looks sexy as hell as is.”