30 Day Chan-lenge — Day 4

Dieting in 5 cats or less

Hey everyone!

We’re still in the ramp up stage of our diet, and I thought it’d be good to share some of the tips and tricks I mentioned about dieting in my previous post. I know this can be a bit dry, and I know it can have a lot of technical and confusing jargon… so, I will explain everything in the most universal language known to man: cat memes. Can you tell if these cats adhering to my dieting tips?

Write it down

Yes! Techie Cat is diligently logging all his food for the day (despite poor ergonomic form)

We’re not just calorie counting, we’re macro counting. I want you to write it all down… all. of. it. There are apps, like myfitnesspro, that will help you in this process, but I definitely want to encourage you all to record your food! How else will you know if you’re hitting your macros? I know it’s a pain, and it’s not convenient and you’d rather have a root canal, but it’ll make things so much clearer. Also, when your gauging meals in the future, you’ll have a better idea how to approximate (especially when it comes to eating out at restaurants) food portions and sizes.

Drink some water

Yes! Tube cat is making the effort to hydrate

Go get some water, right now. Yeah, it’s okay, I’ll wait. I got all day, I’m just text on a page after all… Got it? Good. Keep drinking water, it will help you feel full and keep you from getting dehydration hunger. That’s right, sometimes you feel like you’re hungry, but really you’re just dehydrated, so promise me you’ll do this when you’re hungry: drink a tall glass of water, wait 10 minutes, then if you’re still hungry — eat something, otherwise live your life. The same applies for meals, drink a large (half litre at least preferably) and then eat your meal 10 minutes later, you’ll find you’re feeling much more sated at the end of it (but those 10 minutes sure will suck).

Eat Slow

No! Sensible bites, Banana Cat!

So there’s some delay in the signals when your stomach is full versus when that signal actually reaches your brain. It’s got something to do with some stuff hitting your blood stream and the chemicals or whatever from that reaching a point of saturation so it gets to your brain. Like I said at the start, real technical jargon here. Just try to eat your meal over the span of 20 minutes, at least, you’ll find it a lot easier to keep you portion to what you’ve prepared than going snacking on the rest of your fridge.

Here’s a wonky tip, get hot sauce. Like, the hottest sauce you can manage. Fun fact: you can’t eat fast when your mouth is the sun. I have quite an assortment of hot sauces from Mexico, China, and all over the world for just such occasions (also because I’m a masochist).

Mexicat questions what hot sauce you eat

Plan your snacks

No! Pizza cat has selected the wrong food for a snack and is much too attached to it

Just like planning your meals, plan your snacks. Why be so anal? Because I can’t function as a responsible adult when I’m hungry (can’t even do that when I’m normal, either ,but that’s beside the point), maybe you can, but why bothering putting yourself in that position? First, when you’re hungry you tend to just want to eat the nearest thing possible, whether that be cookies, a sugary granola bar, or whatever you deem carb ridden and guilt inducing. Second, you want to control your portions. If you’re eating out of a bag, there’s probably no end to your snacking until it’s a meal. Even a decent snack, like baby carrots or grapes, will soon spiral out of control.Post-snack time guilt is ripe with the phrase: ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time’ (Side fact: There’s a 50% chance that will be written on my tombstone as my last words (Sider fact: the rest of the 100% is made up of: 40% chance: ‘I can’t believe I ate the whole thing’ and 10% chance: “I can jump that faaaaaaaaaaar *splat*”).


Yes! Sleepy Cat has his routine so well established Asshole Cat can mock him with it

That’s right, NOT poutine, but routine! If you follow a routine, regarding eating times, snacks, as well as waking up and working out, then you are 1000%% percent more likely to continue with that routine (a fact I totally didn’t just make up on the spot). Our brains like patterns, routine and order. You’ll find a regimented schedule will not only give structure to your day so you know what to expect (and so will your stomach), but also help increase your guilt when you try to step out of those bounds (and in this case guilt is a good thing).

So, there you have it. Plain and simple dieting tips in 5 cats or less (not including bonus Mexicat). Positive mind = positive results. Next time you think of slipping in your diet, just remember:

TL;DR: Asian man shows funnie cats.

Do a guy a favour and check out my previous days’ posts too, will ya??

See you all Thursday!