What are you putting in wedding cakes?
The recent concern over same-sex marriage and religious freedom seems to have fomented over wedding cakes. Now I am not a Christian theologian but I don’t remember anything in the Bible to the effect of:
“Behold, I have given you fruitcake & white icing, to you they shall be the symbols of fecundity”
But if anyone knows where that pearler is, let me know.
One concern naturally is what the difference between the wedding cakes of the queers & the accepted is. Like EXTRA FRUIT, or is it more of the case that those wanting to get married can have a wedding they just can’t eat it. You know like LOVE THE FLAN, HATE THE FAG.
Now assuming there are right ways & wrong ways to use fruit cakes, I assume that businesses ordinarily couldn’t give a toss about how I use the product as long as it’s safe & I pay them. What would I know?
IF, indeed, there is a serious religious exemption required here — then I am deeply concerned. Not because I can’t buy cake — no I am concerned as to how it operates.
Like, surely a Presbyterian wedding cake shop couldn’t sell to Catholics because it’d be against their religion. You’d have to ask if the people ordering the cake were idolaters or had ever had a shag on the side, whether they drank or had stolen or swindled.
What else is concerning? Two things; MARKET SEGMENTATION & SOLVENCY.
Clearly any of these religious bakeries are having a tough time because of the market distortions made necessary by stopping people approaching the ALTAR of THE WEDDING CAKES without 20/20 vision.
It seems that they are either an effective monopoly — that price-gouges the holier constituents in order to stay afloat OR their ATO returns are *wink,wink* “BY THE GRACE OF GOD”.
But, I’ve come up with a solution for everyone. Don’t sell the rather binary statuettes on top of the cakes, it can be like a hip version of DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL. The added bonus will be smaller business being able to specialise in just selling the figurines in multipacks, so no-one ever need know where they went.
Further, it will mean no-one needs to bake equal cakes. It might even spur a FORD MODEL-T style revolution whereby people who sell wedding cakes don’t make you fill in an application form, reducing red-tape for business. I can feel the icing trickling-down
With these INNOVATIONS in an EXCITING 21st CENTURY ECONOMY of JOBS & GROWTH businesses won’t have to worry about pesky homosexual interference in their GODLY wedding-cake-making spaces.