On dying, being a man, and Linkin Park.

On Thursday, the tragic news broke that Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington died by suicide, and I’ve been having a hard time with it. Not because I’m the world’s biggest Linkin Park fan. I mean sure, I love their music—Even the recent stuff, which is quite a departure from their sound in the early days. So yeah, I’ll miss hearing Chester’s gravelly vocals on those soaring rock anthems… But when something like this happens, we’re forced to look at our own story and reflect on our humanity. And in a time like this, I’m reminded of the many times I’ve considered ending my own life. Friends, depression is real, and our mental health is not a joke.
I don’t know Chester’s story. I can imagine that he dealt with a lot of pressure, being the lead singer of one of the biggest rock bands of our generation. Touring. Songwriting. Recording. Meeting fans. Dealing with record labels. Paparazzi. It was probably a lot. In the middle of all that though, I wonder if he had good support. No doubt, he was surrounded by people all the time, but did he have good people around him? People who really cared about his health and well-being, more than they cared about him as the face of Linkin Park? Did he speak up for himself when he was struggling, or did he suffer in silence? And if he did speak up, was he heard… Really heard?
This is a problem, and it’s terrifying—especially for those of us who know what it’s like to be in that incredibly dark place, wrestling with the choice to stop fighting forever or to keep on going. And we have to start by removing shame from the narrative when we talk about depression—especially as men. Suicide isn’t “the easy way out,” as many are quick to call it. For some, it’s the only way out. This week, author and mental health expert Matt Haig tweeted out some stats, and a reminder: “41% of men who contemplated suicide felt they couldn’t talk about their feelings… Suicide is the leading cause of death full stop for 20 to 34 year olds. It needs the attention it deserves. Money, research, awareness.” (And to that last part I say, hell yes.)
Men, hear me when I say this: There is no shame in whatever you’re feeling. There’s nothing wrong with struggle. There’s nothing wrong with emotion. These things do not make you less of a man. They don’t take away from any part of who you are. And anyone in your life who is telling you otherwise is feeding you lies. Please reach out. Please ask for support. Get help, and start now. You’re never alone. Contact me if you don’t have anyone you can trust, but whatever you do, don’t sit in silence for one more second.
Because even on your worst days, you matter. And you and I being here is always better than the alternative. Please keep fighting. We need you here. We’re in this together.
