Crafting Ourselves

This thought was originally posted on my personal blog on June 1, 2014.

“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am”

― Max Webber or Charles Horton Cooley (because I don’t know)

Disclaimer: Before we begin, and as always, I share my non-scientific and mere observational thoughts with you all.

While the quote above holds true, in the last twenty years things have gotten a bit more complicated. And yes, the new ingredient in this identity mix is the so-called Internet Persona, our online selves, our Avatars or to keep it simple, our [Facebook] profiles. [or Twitter, Linkedin, VK, Instagram]

Through Facebook we have unconsciously learnt to create and craft stories (fictional and non fictional) around ourselves.

I’ll elaborate.

First Act: the setup. Where we establish the main character and the world he lives in. This is easy. A person builds the character he or she wants to be. It is built through the timeline, past events, when he was born, when he finished school and so on and so on. Upload some pictures to give him a face, but wait says I — “I look horrible in this picture” [Move to Trash].

Congratulations, you have survived the first act.

Second Act: the confrontation. You have managed to grab your viewer’s attention, but this is not enough. The story needs conflict and obstacles. Choose what you like, your boyfriend left you, perhaps you are studying hard for your exams and you are not sleeping at all, or maybe your team just lost and you are heartbroken. Enter the final act.

Third Act: the resolution. The main tensions have to be solved. Yes, you have a new boyfriend and you passed all exams. Oh marvellous, your team now won. Let’s share some more pictures and also a video of that great goal.

Now repeat.

The first time I met my favourite Radio Jockey I was totally disappointed, he was totally not the person I imagined. Then I met another one and the same happened. I learnt to manage my expectations.

I’m having the same radio jockey syndrome with the people I first meet online and then offline. I believe it is also happening to us with our self-image. We are not reaching our desired expectations of our built Internet Persona.

“…I am not who I think I am…” [Move to Trash]

Originally published at