The last turd in the bowl or bowel

I guess it just depends on how I feel each day. Don’t get me wrong, If I did not wake up one day, I bet I would not like it. At least 1 or 2 people would not like it. It goes hand in hand with: how does it feel to not like what you wake up into each and every day?

I have had some whopper and I don’t mean the BK type, that would make most want to take a knife and practice on their on guts to be a Samuri and cut out the stuff that will hang out if you slit into the muscles under your stomach.

Reminds me of Hannibal. He asked the Italian man how he would like it: Guts in, like his ancestor… or guts out like the drawing of old showing how it happened. He was not in much of a position to say anything as he was about to go flying out a window and somehow it was rigged that his body stayed above the ground, but many of his guts wound up on the ground. Talk about too much exposure.

Yes, folks, some of my humor, dry as shit as it is, is not for the faint at heart. I do all kinds of jokes by I am honest about 1 thing: None of my jokes have ever happened that involve any time of molestation, child, adult or animal or any living thing. I respect life. I was hunting deer in Georgia and they all said “I’m fixin to turn the dogs out.” In Southern lingo, this means that the dogs would corner the deer so that they would have a better chance of hittin one. Through other’s I have heard standing in a tree stand with bow and arrow for hours until a deer comes by and wack it with the arrow. For sure, that shows more of gamesman or woman ship. A gun, in and of itself goes so fast.

I just discovered something that helped me to understand the Kennedy Killing. When I was hit by a drunk driver at full speed on October 26, 2016, he hit my right passenger side. Yet, had I not released my seat belt, it felt like I was being pulled to the right so hard that the upper strap would have stopped my breathing over my neck…. or killed me. Once, my left hand let go the belt, I flew over to the passenger side. Now, if you are from the UK or drive on the other side of the road, I would have no idea. I probably would have flown in the right direction.

The important thing to remember is that a lot of my actions were instinctual as I have no memory of letting the seat belt off. I just saw scratches on my left hand and figured it out from that. I then sat up, thinking I was on the driver’s side. My feet were stilll on the driver’s side and it may have been my right leg that took out my shifting column. Like I have previous said, but maybe not here, it looked and felt like a “Limp Dick.” Truth in understanding how things work may dictate that my little body could not have swung into the shifter and made it go flat and non responsive to any other gear other than “Drive” which it was in at the time of the accident. This was also the 1st time that when the Federal Guy yelled at me to shut the car off, that I ever dealt with the possibility of a car fire. And, when I went to the tow yard, the key still in the steering column, it fired right up.

So, now I am thinking: what is it in a car accident that causes gas to leak and then somehow start a fire. I have said that I get no joy in using Google or the like to answer my shit as if I do…. why write anything at all? The whole idea of this type of writing is to cleanse my head. How I do that is by just spewing out what I think. In the end, I may look it up, but now is not the time. If I am at full “Tergur” pressure, meaning, the speed of my mind alligned with my typing speed, I don’t even have time for the underlining Gremlin.

What I do take time for is that when I am gettin powerful ready to end, I look at the top to see if there is a loose end I can tie up. I just don’t see one. If you want to say: Dave is the only one who does…… and then insert something that people you know and yourself …. would not do… then put in in as I would. Say you said: he won’t do…… I may not have, but since you are betting against me, I cannot let you win. I may do it not out of spite, but out of showing you that you may “Think” you know me, but do you “Actually” know what I am capable of? Mystery of the World, is me. Whoa is me too.

Worse than all of this is how right my Mom was: It all depends on what hole you come out of.

She has it 1/2 right. It also depends on who put the added secret ingredient into the hole, them little spermies. Say in my case, it was the Higher Power that overtook my Dad and now, have made a modern day Christ. I was about to write another word, but… I think I have gone far enough. I never look to be killed and for sure, I am not going to take away anyone’s sins anymore. I did for a long time when I was younger, but age has caught up with me. One time, my 3 year old child… was in trouble. In an analogy, not real, I put her mask on first before my own, ensuring she would live before I did my own mask. Not in that Plane type thing, but against what the “Pros” say you should do. They say, take care of yourself first and that will allow you to help others.

I say: when It comes to my kids in past circumstances and now that they hate my guts, there will be no more times of that… but say out of nowhere to now here, one shows up and needs me. First the Child…. no longer child, then me.