Donald Trump may not be the candidate you want (Republicans), but he’s the candidate you deserve

Dear Republican candidates,

None of you should be president. I don’t care how much you pretend to love this country. It’s a lie. It’s bullshit. You’re bullshit.

If you weren’t, you would have stuck up for the American citizens Trump has been ostracizing. But you didn’t. You sat back, feet up, kissing hands, shaking babies, and enjoying belly rubs from your handlers for being good ol’ boys.

Well, f*** your club, I quit. This is my resignation.

You make people angry, racist, prejudice, confused, guilty, uncomfortable, subservient, misinformed, ignorant, complacent, volatile, minimized, targeted, uncivilized, disenfranchised, judgmental, fearful, spiteful, and unwelcoming. And you do it all behind a mask of patriotism from an ivory tower built on faith and sand.

What have you done to make me so angry, you ask? It’s what you haven’t done. You haven’t stepped up and defended all of those ideals you claim to covet. Instead, you’ve let Trump stir up fear and incite anger and violence just so you can bide your time in the shadows like the opportunistic cowards you are. What’s that quote attributed to Burke? All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. You’re not even good men, you may not even be average men, but for Pete’s sake, do something, do anything. Anything at all.

The only Trump shot you’ve all rallied to defend against, the only shot you seem to believe crosses the line, is his least inflammatory. In fact, he might actually be telling the truth. But OMFG, how dare he question a Republican OG’s street cred? George Bush a liar?

  • “Not my bubba” — Jeb Bush
  • “¿Cómo te atreves?” — Marco Rubio
  • “What are you talking aboot?” — Ted Cruz

Racism? Meh. Torture? Bring on the battery cables. Rape? Silent. But messing with Dubbya? Hell no, not on your watch.

Vox describes it best:

Saying Mexican immigrants are rapists didn’t do it. Calling for a return of torture didn’t do it. Calling for a ban on Muslim immigration didn’t do it. Raising questions about Barack Obama’s status as an American citizen didn’t do it. Pretending that thousands of Muslims in New Jersey cheered 9/11 didn’t do it.

But you know what, thank you. Seriously. You’ve helped me finally understand how incredibly selfish you all are and what you actually stand for.

I can’t wait to vote against you. It doesn’t matter if it’s Hilary or Bernie or a f***ing chicken, they will have my vote because you don’t deserve it. You don’t even deserve to put your name on the ballot.

So mark your calendars, the night of November 8th, 2016, when you’ll be staring out of a window, swirling your scotch, and contemplating how much you suck.

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