Quoof and other family nonsense
Tess Wheeler

Ahh, so much fun to hear about these twistednesses. I have so many from family and friends. A few, mixed in with malapropisms and mixed metaphors:

That’s easy pie.

Anarchy is better than no form of government at all.

I’m so tired I could eat a horse.

It’s a “knife eat knife” world out there.

While sending me to the market to buy certain groceries, my dad would say, “If they don’t have any, don’t buy any.” I assured him that I wouldn’t.

Who wants oakmeal for breakfast?

You were snorkling all night!

Eek, for having a BM.

Tinkling, for peeing.

Swankered, for drunk.

A little pain never hurt anyone.

And my favorite, from my former wife, “You don’t know me from a stick in the mud!”

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