The Empathic Response

or, What To Do When Someone Is Down

This is a list of links to all the comments that resonate with me - each one for its own particular take on Talia Jane’s open letter and the reaction to it. I love all these responses, and admire the people who made them.

I have made at least one comment on each - if only to say that I’m adding it to my compilation. But I’ve usually also added what I like about the post or the bit I’ve highlighted.

I won’t do any analysis here. This list is just my way of showing the depth of feeeling, the intelligence of response, and the kind of support that’s developed around the letter. It is mainly intended for people like me who believe the mostly hostile response is really off-base: that it’s wrong to kick someone when they’re down. This list is meant to make it easier to see that at least a few people understand that and have got constructive ways of responding.

I have made several longer comments myself, including one long one to Stefanie Williams that I won’t link to. I have borrowed phrases from Cameron Burgess, Craig Sullivan and Emey, have made explicit comparisons with Justin Keller and may have indulged my own mischaracterisations in places.

Herself

Talia’s written a second second open letter (to us) at https://medium.com/@taliajane/an-open-letter-to-you-69ed3f150540

Rebecca Searles

Title=Talia, I’m sorry there are so many unsupportive garbage-person comments on your post.
URL=https://medium.com/@beccabigwords/talia-i-m-sorry-there-are-so-many-unsupportive-garbage-person-comments-on-your-post-762afd89bc08#.lcpb1z46o

joahspearman

Title=To anyone seeing this post, let’s recommend Talia’s story and Rebecca’s response.
URL=https://medium.com/@joahspearman/to-anyone-seeing-this-post-let-s-recommend-talia-s-story-and-rebecca-s-response-fecdbd5cebe4#.zaqfamw3v

Craig Sullivan

Title=Hi Talia,
URL=https://medium.com/@optimiseordie/hi-talia-1d6b595c1d90#.vfwtp65sf

cameron burgess

Title=Hi Talia
URL=https://medium.com/listen-to-my-story/hi-talia-dc18b8b93b22#.62dgz2gxo

Title=Hi Again Talia,
URL=https://medium.com/@uncompromise/hi-talia-9ae4df83083b#.6krylzn22

David le Map (Me! in response to Craig Sullivan)

Title=Part II … continued from yesterday.
URL=https://medium.com/@davidlemap/part-ii-continued-from-yesterday-df6e4b770472#.69w5i7ehx

Emey

Title=A self-righteous open letter to people who write self-righteous open letters to people who write…
URL=https://medium.com/@emeyerson/a-self-righteous-open-letter-to-people-who-write-self-righteous-open-letters-to-people-who-write-3da86178cdb4#.exz270jl0

Lisa Bari

Title=When I was a kid, we had to walk barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways to school.
URL=https://medium.com/@lisabari/when-i-was-a-kid-we-had-to-walk-barefoot-in-the-snow-uphill-both-ways-to-school-ac3382880ae4#.xxqbl24g3

John Eden

Title=While most of the comments here will say that Stefanie heroically helped unmask another entitled…
URL=https://medium.com/@johneden/while-most-of-the-comments-here-will-say-that-stefanie-heroically-helped-unmask-another-entitled-17a5da827312#.vbp23c3at

The One With D

Title=My stance on Talia’s recent piece
URL=https://medium.com/@theonewithd/my-stance-on-talia-s-recent-piece-a1b7aa2e2fd5#.f9gabma52

Dustin Briscoe

Title=I decided to create a Medium account just for the purpose of giving you a potentially different…
URL=https://medium.com/@dustin.alan.briscoe/i-decided-to-create-a-medium-account-just-for-the-purpose-of-giving-you-a-potentially-different-24810387bd35#.a61e1vtz8

S. Adriane Kaylor

Title=Wow. What a horribly catty, bitter, jealous and privileged response to someone who was attempting…
URL=https://medium.com/@AdrianeKaylor/wow-what-a-horribly-catty-bitter-jealous-and-privileged-response-to-someone-who-was-attempting-9fdce425a3aa#.8k2vpi1me

Carola Klass

Title=An Open Letter to Stefanie Williams, Who Wrote an Open Letter to Talia…
URL=https://medium.com/@carolaklass/an-open-letter-to-stephanie-williams-who-wrote-an-open-letter-to-talia-77ab47886f02#.2alaltijt

Gayle Laakmann McDowell

Or, we could just not act like jerks.