Dear 20-somethings who haven’t made it yet. You are fucked. But not alone.
I’m 25. I mean just 25, right?— but in the world that we live in, with all the success stories we picture ourselves in and with the resulting pressure we pile on us, I’m already 25.
What you are about to read is not a success story. I’m not going to tell you how to grow your business in a weekend, or how to live the 4-hour week as a youngster. I’m neither a published best selling author nor am I a well-known blogger. To be honest with you, I have a combined follower base of about 200 people. I haven’t made it yet, in any possible way. I’m full of self-doubt. I’m working every day on my own business earning shit yet. Every time I hear of people making money with the most foolish things I’m kinda pissed. And jealous. Seems that I’m just too dumb right? Is it worth it at all? I’m studying something I don’t really care about to have a backup plan. Sure, “follow your passion, do what you love and make your fucking dreams come true”. But when in 5 or 10 years from now all my efforts didn’t mean anything and reality hits me right in the face, I don’t want to end up as a failure without a backup plan. I’m sacrificing my corporate career. I’m slighting my relationships and I’m becoming more and more an isolated individual working his ass off to “make it happen”. To live the best version of all the inspirational posts out there. To tell all the people that are looking down on me to go fuck yourself. To vaynerchuk the shit out of me.
Sometimes I go to bed and I think “hey it’ll all be good and fine” but most times I’m confused and doubting. Most times I truly hate myself, all my shortcomings and just everything. Fuck it all! There is no overnight success — we got that, but still, patience is pretty painful if you don’t know that it will all turn out to be just fine in the end.
Having said that, I don’t think that these thoughts have anything to do with being successful or not. Which leads to the bad part.
The bad part.
First, you won’t be a 19 yo wunderkind covered by all the media and you won’t be an 18 yo humble inventor of a hyped social network. That chance and years are long gone. Realize that this won’t and physically can’t happen anymore. I don’t have any life-changing tips for you and there is no secret or easy way out. And even worse: If you are not made for the “casual” life and happy with a TV and a six pack at 5 PM for the next 50 years, well then…you are fucked even more. Because our self-questioning, our doubts, our struggle, our perfectionism and our anxiety will never disappear, even then when we all end up being successful. Because we will still be the same people even if you’d love the perfect version of yourself that you imagine in your head in sleepless nights. You sure can improve and get more confident in your skills, but I’m afraid that this doubt right beneath our chest will stay forever. Even if we own a successful business. That is just how we function.
Whether you’re running a business, writing a blog or trying to build a freelance creative career, you're always going to feel like your life is in total chaos. You're going to feel like the whole thing is held together with duct tape, band-aids and a few well-placed staples. — Jon Westenberg
The good part.
You are not alone.
We simply need to accept that we are not the 20-year-old 1 billion dollar type of people, even if on a good day we think that we would be capable of. Something led to the point where we just aren’t. But we’re full of ambition …and self-doubts, just like everyone else. It’s sad but also liberating. We are all in this together. So take a step back, accept it and go your own way. Write your own story. Time has not run out yet and there is much to come. Do not let yourself be affected too much by the life of others. That right here is your trip. Even if sometimes we think we have it all figured out and we just can’t explain why it didn’t work out yet, we're right in the middle of our journey or even just at the beginning and nobody said it would be easy. And someday we’ll make it. Hopefully.
But remember you’re are not alone. Be patient and just do shit. You are only fucking 20-something.
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Thank you! :)