Checkers: A stream-of-thought reminder to be open-minded in a time of political divisiveness
I have been debating for some time now about a first article to write — what to talk about and how to talk about it — and I have been finding myself being torn. There are so many things going on in this country and the world, along with the generally liberal view that seems so pervasive on Medium, that it seems not only impossible to say anything that will matter but futile to do so as well. The liberal viewpoint seems to come in two sizes: those like me who are in a very small minority who try to talk to liberals and conservatives alike to try to find common ground between us so we can build bridges so we can meet in the middle and work on fixing things that are wrong in this country, and the majority who seem to have become militant in their desire for a civil war between the two parties. I am not saying that there is not a similar split in the conservative view, what I find most interesting is that the conservative split does not seem to be as vocal about it, either through necessity, or will, or just because they want to wait and see what happens.
Because of this, as a centrist with conservative leanings, I find this time particularly troubling. I can pose supposition as to why the right is so silent: maybe because they have always seem to have had a wait and see or even work with attitude towards whomever is in charge; maybe because they work against the individual(s) they feel is/are a threat to the status quo or best interest of the country (or themselves as the case may be); maybe because, as the liberals might tell us, because the hold all the power and thus the privilege and therefore do not need to work with anyone unless it is in their best interest to do so. As an example, I know that many Republicans who decided to vote against former President Obama in both elections did so not because he was African American but because he was not, in their eyes, the best candidate for the job, regardless of what the left said. Even conservative African Americans who voted against him were labeled racist. We voted against him a second time because we felt he proved it through his first term. Both times we lost, but did we cry about it? Need safe spaces and puppies? Did we attack liberals and shout and scream and yell about how bad people Democrats are for putting this evil man in office? Did we rally and march and loot and riot because we did not get our way? Did we write articles like this having to call our brethren to arms to rid us of the evil of the left? I do not seem to remember anything, and after internet and news searches, have failed to find one singular instance of it. I do know we argued against the Affordable Care Act (ACA), we argued against his need to apologize to the world on behalf of the U.S. (or for the U.S.) for the sins of the past, we argued against his handling of Benghazi and Osama bin Laden. But not the theme there: we argued against his policies and actions. We criticized Congressional REPUBLICANS for how they handled their part in everything (for example, could they have done more to try to kill the ACA through filibusters and the like), and we were critical of Congressional Democrats for just blindly following the leader, while at the same time knowing how difficult it can be to stand up to leadership, especially in the party of Political Correctness.
When we knew that he could no longer run for office, and despite some nervousness about his possible actions after election results came in, we had an opportunity to finally have a say in what was wrong. We felt Democrats had betrayed the country. We came out and voted, then sat back and let the system work. But before we could vote against a Democrat, we had to figure out who would best represent the party. We had an unprecedented ten candidates to choose from, and for many of us, despite his failings, Donald Trump appealed to the majority. Personally, I was never completely sold on him, because I knew, at his core, he was a salesman through and through — being the head of his own business proved that. I know many others were not either for similar reasons. But one thing we all could agree on was that he was definitely not business as usual in Washington D.C. For many of us, one thing stood out about him far and above the rest, despite the taxes and women comments (we cringed every time something happened when it came to women): he was our way of telling Politicians, “Just because you have been in politics since the country was founded does not mean you are automatically going to remain there forever.”
There are a lot of disconnects going on in this country right now. Citizens are disconnected with each other as demonstrated with the inter- and intra- party polarization we see on the news every evening. The rich are completely disconnected from those of us scraping from paycheck to paycheck. Lawmakers are disconnected from those they govern. People are not people to companies, but are merely sources of payment for goods and services as reflected in profit and loss columns. Individuals have individuals everywhere, trains, busses, airplanes, restaurants, libraries, parks, churches, etc., but instead of connecting with those around them, disconnect from them instead by artificially connecting to those in their portable electronic devices, a hand-held that will not go to bed and cuddle. All of these disconnects put distance between us, while artificially making us feel important (narcissism) because our circle of connections through the device is nothing more than a bunch of yes people who always agree and never engage other ways of thinking. If we do finally meet someone who does, instead of becoming critical thinkers and learning, we become sensitive and offended and kick them out of the circle. Then we go to therapy because that online person who we don’t (really) know was mean to us because they didn’t agree with our self-important thought. In other words: we have reached a point where there is a chasm in this country between people, and while on the one hand we are demanding that people need to bridge that chasm and find understanding and common ground, we make it bigger ourselves because we become offended and hurt because the other side of the chasm didn’t agree with us. Let us bring peace across the disconnects, across the chasm, but only if it is peace my way, on my terms, by my rules, and with my conditions. If you don’t agree, then go away, and good riddance, and here’s a parting insult for good measure. Thus, the chasm grows.
Can the chasm be bridged? Honestly, I don’t know. I want to believe we can, but there are reasons I don’t think we will. The biggest, first and foremost, is because I see so few who want to. Every once in a while I communicate with someone willing to meet half way, but most seem polarized in their respective corners, unwilling to come out for whatever reason, and for anything. Second, all of those people in those corners seem to have a deep desire, need, to be right, and everyone else is wrong. Narcissism has become the norm in this country; in an age of the selfie, Facebook, live video, everyone gets a prize, they cannot be wrong. In addition, instead of reaching out to learn more about “the other side”, their opinions are reinforced through congregation with people who have the same way of thinking. That may be a safe and secure place to dwell, nobody every excelled by playing anything safe. When there is no risk, there is no reward.
I learned this lesson while learning how to play checkers of all things. My grandmother was, in my mind, the grandmaster champion of the universe at checkers. No matter what I did when I was young, I could never beat her. Game after game she would take all my pieces, and game after game I would become more and more frustrated. Finally I became so mad that I stormed off telling her I was never going to play against her again because she never let me win. When I saw her again not long after, she explained that she never let me win because I would never learn anything if she did. I became determined that I would beat her someday. I joined chess club in high school, which ultimately taught me the fine art of looking moves ahead. That kind of strategy was never something I was completely able to master, but what I learned from the experience was the strategy I needed to fulfill my goal. The week before she died, I had the opportunity to visit her, and for the first time in my life I finally beat my master checkers grandmother at her own game. She laughed so hard she cried at my success, and I just smiled with pride. I understood what she told me all those years before, and it is a lesson I take with me every day of my life: you will never be any better than you are now if you never meet anyone or do anything that challenges you beyond your ability. Just like a game of checkers, if someone always lets you win, you will never learn what you need in order to win on your own, so when someone better than you does come along, if they don’t let you win, then you’ll lose every time. If you always play against people who are not up to your skill lever, or higher, then you will never learn anything new because your opponents will never challenge you beyond your capabilities. Only when you meet a superior will you be put to the test, challenged beyond your capabilities, and placed in a situation where you have to learn and improve in order to win the game.
This goes for all aspects of life. If everyone you have in your social circle thinks exactly the way you do, then you will always be right, and there will never be not only a challenge to your way of thinking, but there’s never a chance that you’re wrong. If you’re never wrong, then there’s never anything new to learn. The world becomes very one-dimensional, as will you, and you will never be anything more than you are now.
In the end, nothing I’ve said here will make any difference in your life, unless you want it to. Maybe you’ll read it and become offended by it. Maybe you’ll close it and move on, forgetting anything I’ve written, and not caring one bit. Others may read it and decide to comment, while most will just skim the headline and keep moving, looking for reinforcement from others of like mind. I didn’t write or post this for any of those reasons. I wrote and posted it as a reminder to myself to remember the lessons I’ve learned throughout my life, and continue to apply them every day, push and strive to be more tomorrow than I am today. I have to jolt myself out of denial once in a while, remind myself that I could fall into the trap of being the person I described above, and endeavor
