It means pulling away that cushion that protected you from the truth of who you are: oppressors, descendants of rapists and murderers. The offspring of generations of people willing and able to capitalize off the use and murders of thousands of Black people. Your heroes are savages and you live in the benefits of their savagery.
When Your White Significant Other Says Something Racist
Talynn Kel

The melanin in my skin is what this statement is based upon. What is ironic is that, if you were to look at MY descendants, and those of people like me, you wouldn’t be so quick to jump to racial conclusions. You see my white skin, and as such you then utilize your prejudice to decide who I am, and who my people have owned. It would never cross your mind that, 2,000 years before your ancestors were sold to colonists here, my people were owned by their descendants in their homeland. Remember the Roman Empire? Remember the Egyptians? The Greeks? The Ottoman? Every single one of them, and more, have conquered Sicily, and we have been owned pretty much throughout the entirety of civilization. Hell, Sicily didn’t even gain independence and become a recognized country until after WW11. Top it off, think blacks were the only race that was lynched? Think again. Sicilian have had just as much happen to them as blacks have. Nobody fought a civil war for our freedom.

My point with all of this is that, if you truly want to save your relationship, then perhaps the problem doesn’t just lie eith him. Perhaps you are allowing your beliefs and prejudices to control you, and you are utilizing him as a scapegoat for all of the injustices you feel you’ve suffered: in other words, he’s a convenient target to unleash your anger. Obviously he is hurt by what happened. Instead of pounding further and harder on that bruise, you can help it heal instead. If you continue to feel the need to pound on it, then perhaps it’s you that needs to end things to save him from being hurt further.

Fights are a two way street. It takes two to have them. That means you are playing a part in the fight. You have the choice to continue it or end it. How you feel about him, as well as your own feelings, will ultimately determine your course of action.