Reflections on the president as a sock puppet

A sock puppet, without a foot inside, is without a soul. There is nothing in the constitution preventing a sock puppet from ascending to the office of president, providing that it meet the minimum requirement of age and the condition that it be born in the country. The greatest country on earth ever over-ruled by a sock puppet. It is old. Crusty. Because it is old it was born in the USA, as is rare in the current stock of socks. Obsolescence is its one virtue. It spent years under a bed, and the relatively privileged life it led has been a great step up. The stains are to be expected. They are war wounds. Cosmetic defects. Scars. Many battles, lost. Shame to be overcompensated for. If the sock puppet cannot have your love, the sock puppet will accept your hate.

The sock puppet is confused when it is empty inside and all efforts must be expended in order to give the illusion that the sock is large instead of flaccid. Coloring is used to hide the unsightly stains. The sock puppet surrounds itself with lesser employees, underlings. As in any corporate state, the underlings are expected to do all the work whilst the sock is left to claim the credit. The sock puppet is so empty inside. Anything to fill the void, hate, lust for power, is a welcome diversion. The underlings seek to fill the sock puppet, but the sensation inside the sock puppet is deadening. Soon all feeling is lost in the surrogate appendage, but this makes the underlings all the more productive as they do not take the time to think twice, if at all.

Oh, sock puppet, you are so empty.