The quality of our relationships

David Schmoll
Jul 25, 2017 · 3 min read

Disclaimer: This is just a summary of my thoughts. And there will be some grammatically mistakes maybe because i am not an english native speaker. It is hard to express yourself in a different language but without the attempt to improve yourself you won’t get better. “ No pain — No gain”. So this is also my attempt to express myself in a different language. You are always a captive of your language. Keep that in mind.

We live in a society with many names: consumer society, active society, social media society … the list goes on. Our society is massively influenced by the media. Facebook, WhatsApp, Tinder, Snapchat & Co. are integrated in our daily routin. We consume not only text massages, pictures or advertisment all day long. No, we also consume products like a washing maschine. Why the hell do we can use them only 2 years until they break or just turn off their service and we have to buy a brand new one. My grandma used to have a washing maschine which actually lasts for over ten years. And if there was something broken she or my grandpa had to fix it. And thats exactly what they did with their relationship. If there was something in their relationship which did not work anymore — They fixed it because there was not the opportunity to swipe to the right for a new one. And about that fact i am concerned about most. Many people dont fix things today-they just choose the easy way and look for something new.

Today there is no need to fix something. If your Iphone is broken just send it back and get a new one. If your boyfriend does not have the right style or there is a disagreement just get a new one. It is easy. Why should we try hard to fix something if there is a selection of many other boys or on the opposite -girls. If your new model ( your boyfriend or girlfriend) makes problems and doesn’t work the way you want you have him or her the choice of picking again a new one is always available. We are not searching for the reason why something does not work anymore we are just replacing things to avoid a process of work. Easy.

Your soul will not get satisfied and so won’t you. People are their whole life on a journey to find something.Everyone of us is looking for something. There are different motivations for that: some people search for their missing socks (spoiler alert: they were eaten by the sockmonster which lives in the washing maschine) others are looking for a job or the meaning of life or at least their identity. I am looking for the right relationship. And iam not going the path of least ressistance. Relationship means pain to me. Sometime it can be painful to be in a relationship. Because you have made yourself vulnerable for someone. Based on the value of trust you decided to open yourself to someone.

On the other hand, relationship means to grow. To flourish. That feeling is the best you can get. To feel the love and the feeling of process. But you have to find the right partner to make this possible. And that is the hard part. Because I will not find him on Tinder. I have not many requirements to a person but one of them is deep. I don’t want to have or be eye candy i want to be and have soul food.

Compare the realtionship to a gardener and a plant. The gardener loves his plants. If a plant is infected he will not throw the plant away. He will find a way to cure his little creature. Because he spends a lot of energy and time to it. He loves his plants. The plant will only cure and grow in the right sorounding. So the gardener will find a second plant to make both of them grow together and flourish.

So in my opinion the quality of our relationships today shrinks to a minimum and the frequency of broken relationships increases to a new level. Like landfills full of electrical waste. I don’t want to end on a landfill.

Thanks for reading. Please comment your thoughts. Feel free to give me feedback.

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