I Usually Want To Help You, But You’re Not Letting Me

I bet you got disappointed many times after trying to help someone and failed. I bet even more you’ve promised yourself you won’t help anyone anymore.

But a week has passed and you tried to help someone else again. You hoped everything would be all right. But you failed again.

Then you reached a point where, from 100 individuals, only 3–4 appreciated your effort. And you felt so disappointed because you tried to help much more than 3–4 people.


If you can recognize yourself in the above paragraphs, then this article might help.

People Are Afraid Of Change

If until today you were used to wearing only dark color clothes and travel inside your city only by taxi, for sure you won’t be able to start wearing pink clothes and travel by bike from tomorrow.

You’ll need a step-by-step change.

Maybe you’ll invest some time in find the right bicycle for you. Maybe you’ll even reconsider your decision a few times. Maybe you won’t even buy it.

Also, you’ll start looking for your first pink bracelet — but if you won’t like it you’ll probably give up on wearing pink accessories ever again.

The change is happening only when you have the courage (thing that’s not happening too often) or when you have too many frustrations. So many, you’ll feel like lacking energy constantly.

Even though you’ll have too many frustrations at some point, THE CHANGE ISN’T GUARANTEED. You’ll get used to them and will remain in your comfort zone. To get over them, you’ll have to be conscious about them so you can generate solutions. But more important than that, you’ll have to move your ass out of the house and do something!

Now Think About It …

Think you’re trying to change a person like this, a person with lots of frustrations and problems. Think that you’re going inside her life and suddenly want to help her.

I find it both stupid and funny - the fact that you think she will let you help her. That person already has lots of friends around and doesn’t want their help.

Why Would She Let You?

And you, the one that is trying to help, have one thing in common with all the individuals that are part of the person’s life you’re trying to help: you’re indifferent, you don’t care.

As long as you’re thinking about helping, you’re thinking to create a change in that person’s life. But have you asked yourself if that change is desired by everyone involved?

The Step Pre Help Takes A Lifetime

First of all, if you expect to go inside one’s life and try to help them, you’ve already lost.

Second, before trying to help, you’ll have to make sure you understand.

If I’m afraid to speak in front of people, you can give me 10 exercises and 50 definitions related to overcoming the fear of public speaking. They’re going to be useless because I’m not even going to try them.

I won’t try them not because they are not valuable, but because I won’t trust you with these exercises. And I won’t trust you because you don’t understand my fear of public speaking.

Be with me when my fear is manifesting and understand it better than I do. Only then you’ll be able to help me.

Therefore, stop trying to help me by any means because you don’t know if it’s going to work or not. You have no idea if your efforts are going to be worthy.

Instead, try to understand me. I assure you that, if you’re with me and you share your positive energy and thoughts with me, the change will come. And you won’t have to move the mountains for it. Neither will I.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR
David thinks that reaching goals is closely related to how we set and achieve objectives and how well connected they are to our lifestyles, no matter how big the obstacles could be.

Being interested in the human potential and its capacity of changing its perspectives, David can help you make a change in your life, or transform your passion into a business.

Discover more about David at davidtheoptimist.com.
Or hit David on Twitter@davidthoptimist.

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