The Eastpoint Lahmies 2017:

In honour of our Sunday League fortunes and failings I’ve put together a collection of awards for various achievements and arse-ups throughout the season.

Goal of the Season Top 5:

5: Andy Catterson vs Winsor.

A worthy entrant for it being the last kick of extra time to take it to penalties, Andy lashed a pinging ball through a crowd of players to save our skins.

We’ll gloss over the fact he missed a penalty in the shootout and lost on penalties yet again.

4: Gift Ngubane vs Winsor

Also in the same game, an expertly taken early volley that left the keeper flat footed and got us off to a great start.

3: Gift Ngubane vs Bishops

An arched volley that defied physics to help us salvage a draw against top of the table away from home. Edge of the area, left foot, top corner. Pop bang lovely.

2: Chris Hill vs King George

Not only did Chris manage to play a 1–2 with a defender’s head after he activated Angry Chris Mode but the lashed shot into the top corner from roughly 25 yards was an absolute beauty. Yet again, a great goal in a game we didn’t win.

1: Sam Cooper vs Bitterne Ducks

Unquestionably the goal of the season. A delicious team move finished by a 30 yard rocket into the top corner which nearly sparked a pitch invasion from yours truly. And also a goal that was part of a win! We even celebrated a goal properly!! Result!!!

Honourable mentions to Gift and Davey Kyle for their goals in the reverse fixture against Bitterne Ducks at the start of the season.

The Andy Catterson Award For Shanked Efforts sponsored by AutoSlice goes to…

Andy Catterson. Now and forever.

The Roy Keane Award For Tackling and Discipline goes to…

Chris Hill for being booked away to Durley after tripping over his own feet and commando rolling into their right winger. Then nearly being sent off for questioning the decision in his usual, calm manner.

This was after he had said at half time “I’m fed up and done with this fucking team.”

Save of the Season goes to…

Dazzy for his unseen scoop from behind the line against Bishops. Magnificent.


Nick for the exact same thing against AFC Fiveways in the cup except it was just over the line not a handball as well!

The Lahm Award For The Most Lahm-y Player goes to…


The Ben Williams Award For Dedication, Consistency and Commitment to Eastpoint goes to…

Jacko. Played every game (I think), never makes a mistake.

The Mark Zuckerberg Award For Best Facebook Group Chat Message goes to…

Andy Catterson: “Don’t bother”

No explanation needed.

Bravest Moment goes to…

Jacko for taking a fake phone call in The Windhover Manor and legging it inside when that lunatic tried to pick a fight with all of us after the Bitterne Ducks home game.

Congratulations to all winners in the inaugural ‘Lahmies’. All winners can collect their prizes of 1x can of Fosters per award win between now and the start of next season.