Triple Threat: Tangerine Troll Trump

Since the 20th of January, I’ve developed a serious addiction to US politics, which just so happens to be when the entire world became part of “The Tru[man]mp Show’’.

In this week’s episode on week 3 of the Trump show, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer aka Stutter Spice referred to Canadian Prime Minister as Joe Trudeau! Surely it’s only a matter of minutes before this stammering spice-head is forced to resign.

On the subject of resignations…National Security Advisor, Michael Flynn resigned this week. Unless of course he encountered the wrath of reality star Trump’s infamous pointy finger and was indeed “Fired”! The not-so-incriminating act was that Flynn lied/told the truth/misled (delete accordingly) the Trump administration on his discussions in regards to US sanctions with the Russians prior to Trump’s inauguration. In response to alleged hacking during the 2016 presidential election, Obama sanctioned Russia on 29th Dec and expelled 35 diplomats sending them on a flight back to Mother Russia. On 30th Dec, Putin stated Russia wouldn’t retaliate, prompting US intelligence analysts to investigate why. Recorded phone calls with Flynn were discovered. Sally Yates, the acting Attorney General that was fired by Trump merely hours after she refused to support the controversial travel ban, attempted to warn the White House that Flynn was “potentially vulnerable to Russian blackmail”.

Whatever the truth, there’s clearly a lack of communication issue going on in Trump’s White House. Vice President, Mike Pence was left in the dark an entire 15 days. He even went on air publically denouncing claims of Flynn’s engagement with Russian aides, resulting in a disgraced Pence, running back with his tail between his legs. There are so many versions of the ‘truth’ flying around; it’s a classic case of The Crime vs. The Cover-Up. Yet with multiple sources providing their different version of events, there are some serious #fakenews and #alternativefacts rolling around.

After a lengthy tenure of 24 days, we say adios to Flynn, who has officially gone down as the shortest serving National Security Advisor. Coincidently the ‘killing-off’ of Flynn, introduces us to yet another villain. With an uncanny appearance resembling Gollum, Senior Advisor, Stephen Miller gave multiple monologues over the weekend (12th Feb) confessing his undying love to his one and only supreme leader, Tangerine-face-troll-haired-Trump.

Soon after Miller’s rants on 12th Feb, Trump’s thumbs quickly took to Twitter congratulating his 31-year-old underling, mong-faced-Miller.

On a serious note, Miller’s reaction was quite disturbing and literally sent shivers down my spine. Miller seems to match an aura to Kellyanne Conway, a manipulative pure-evil advocator, former campaign-manager, now counsellor to Tangerine-Trump. A professional question-dodger, Conway has this incredible superpower that could convince the world that even the Dalai Lama is in fact a mass-murderer. Just don’t look her straight in the eyes!

During a live interview on 9th Feb, she violated the law by using her position of power to promote Ivanka Trump’s line after Nordstrom dropped Ivanka’s clothes and jewellery line due to poor sales. Looks like consumers didn’t want to purchase garments that made them attractive to their fathers!

It’ll probably be another prime example of something that won’t get investigated because Conway’s pals with Trump-the-Troll. Yet how there isn’t going to be a formal investigation into the Russians’ involvement that may have influenced the outcome of the US election baffles me? Where the hell are the Republican-truth-police now? In what warped reality has there not been a full investigation into the ‘Russian-hacking’ when Hilary Clinton was subject to multiple investigations over her deleted emails?

Like Trump’s hair, something seems a bit off. Even the head of the intelligence agency claims he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing state secrets with the President of the US in case they get leaked to Russia. In classic fashion, Trump initiated the Blame Game stating leaks are originating from the CIA and #fakemedia. Good one!

Forget #wikileaks, we now have #trumptweets!

For the love of truth, someone please tell Putin, America needs Snowden back!

Controversy after Controversy!

Scandal after Scandal!

Conspiracy theory after Conspiracy theory!

Finally if that wasn’t enough comic relief to make you question whether it’s all a dream, when you used to read Word Up magazine, the first reality-show President is battling to get a grip with reality! Trump declared embarrassing remarks to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on 15th Feb. Ad-libbing his way with a serious case of thoughtless verbal diarrhoea, Trump’s lack of preparation was evident as he spewed out absurd comments to a complex situation on the Middle East. Even Netanyahu chuckled his head off as Trump requested Israel to “hold back on settlements” and to look at both “two-state and one-state” formulations.

“I like the one that both parties like. I’m very happy with the one that both parties like. I can live with either one.”

This marks a major policy shift in US foreign policy from two decades of diplomatic orthodoxy that has previously pursued an agenda for a two-state solution. If Israel and Palestine could figure it out for themselves in the first place, the World Police aka The USA wouldn’t need to be involved, and every Jew and Arab would be living in peace already.

If you enjoyed this post, tune in next Thursday for a round up on my comments on week 4 in US politics. #truththursday

In the meantime, be sure to turn on tweet notifications on twitter for @therealDonaldTrump; the official platform for communicating US foreign policy. Delivered to the world in 140 characters or less! #socialmedia #trumptweets

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