A Review

I don't mean to exaggerate but I believe this product signals the fall of Western Civilization as we know it. It's not that I have anything against the Bible (it's my highest-rated work of fiction 6 years running), but just look at this thing. It honestly appears to have been designed by monks sequestered in some monastery while taking vows of silence and poverty.

So why would anybody looking to commune with the divine ever buy something so butt-ugly? Well, the manufacturers state that this device allows you to take the Bible with you everywhere you go. You know what else allows you to take the Bible everywhere you go?

The Bible, that's what.

But I bet some of you are saying, "What about the visually impaired, the elderly or the people too busy baking cookies for the neighborhood Planned Parenthood protest? Surely *they* would require such a device." And to that I say one only has to look at the commercial for this abomination to see to whom (that's right, I said 'whom') they are trying to market it. The ad features relatively young, seemingly tech-savvy people who clearly can download an app to have the Bible read aloud over their cellular device while at the same time tweeting vaguely racist comments or posting them on Facebook.

The short of this is...Jesus would NEVER be caught dead or alive listening to the Bible on such a woeful contraption. And his disciples would never have recorded the Bible in .mp3 format--not with that kind of loss in quality due to audio compression. Praise God.

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