The Startup Grinch
Can you tell a friend to abandon a doomed business idea?
I have a friend who’s launching a website that is essentially Yelp for apartments. Yes this has been tried before. Ten years ago.
It seems clear to me that if there isn’t a successful Yelp for apartments by now, then there never will be. My friend, however, is convinced that it will work.
I’ve been somewhat involved up until this point, doing some beta testing here and there, and offering up some business advice when asked. Although I’ve never thought this was a good idea, I haven’t told my friend this directly, even though I’ve dropped some not so subtle hints (which I don’t think my friend has ever picked up on).
Now the website has officially launched. My friend seems fully committed to the website and truly believes that it will be successful.
At this point I’m not sure what I should do. I think it has no chance of success, so do I say so? Do I continue to offer help if asked even though I think the business has no hope of success? Or do I just stay out of it entirely considering my strong doubts about the business?
This seems similar to the debate one might have over whether or not to tell a good friend that you don’t like his or her fiancée.
Or the decision about whether or not to tell children that Santa Claus isn’t real.
I had a discussion with a mutual friend about this issue. This friend felt that it’s better not to express one’s true views because what’s the harm of pursuing a worthless business? Maybe it’s a good learning experience. The worst that could happen is some money and time invested. But ultimately there isn’t much downside to the endeavor.
I’m not so sure that I agree. I think my friend might be minimizing the time and money investment that a side business takes. This valuable time could be spent with family or could be spent on a different, more worthwhile venture. I also think that a business isn’t something that can be so easily discarded. We often think of a business as “our baby”. We can get heavily invested in something, even if that thing has little chance of succeeding. So if my friend gets too deep into the business it will be harder for him to give up on it.
Here’s some advice I found from articles relating to fiancees and Santa Claus:
- Remember that your friend isn’t you — Don’t project your feelings onto your friend. Everyone only sees the world through their own perspective.
- If you do choose to talk to your friend, state your concerns, illustrate why they’re important, but don’t belabor the point. And most importantly be kind.
- People (children) experience joy through their imagination. The startup success (Santa) story is similar to fairy tales, which help people (children) master a different range of emotions and what the reality of real life is. So they do have a developmental purpose.
So what am I going to do? For now I’m going to keep my mouth shut. My friend isn’t currently asking me for any advice so I’m not going to offer it unsolicited. I think I would be doing so more for me than for him.
If he does ask for my advice I’m going to offer as little information as possible and try to change the subject. I know that there’s no way to have a constructive conversation about his business, but I don’t want to hurt our friendship, so it’s better to just avoid the topic.
Some people need their fantasies. I won’t be the Grinch.
