Why making assumptions about your perfect partner limits your chances of lasting love
All it takes is five minutes. Or even a quick glace at a stranger. Then you utter the short phrase that drastically decreases your chances of finding true love.
What is that phrase?
“He (or she) is not my type.”
When your friends casually mention a coworker they know or a friend of a friend whom you might find a true connection to, you listen to their one sentence description of said person and then find the words mentioned above spewing out of your mouth.
You then proceed to tell them the “type” of person you fall for. The Intellectual. The Bad Boy or Girl. The Artist. The Fitness Buff. …
Your life and advice are more than worthy of readers, and maybe your words are the most important ones of all
Sometimes, I blame my lack of success as a writer on the fact I feel I have nothing to say, or rather nothing I feel people would want to hear. I grew up happy, no abuse or dysfunctions that would make my childhood compelling to read. …
Why we need to stop the self-pity and anger and start being kind
Every day, I wake up and look at the news, hoping some wildly excited reporter will shout out that today the war is over against this virus. I know it’s fantasy, and I’m probably doing huge damage to my psyche by foolishly hoping for these words each morning.
But that’s what humans do. We hold on to faith in any way we can. We keep searching for hope, even when we know it will probably elude us. …
Maybe the usual tips and advice aren’t working because you’re forgetting you’re human
Meditation. Journaling. Visualization. Creative prompts to awaken your brain’s imagination, to get you excited about writing again. Tried it. Tried them all. No luck.
Being the fighter that I am, still I sit in front of my computer, waging war on the blank screen. Today was one of those days. I waited and waited, hoping that the Muses would stop by for coffee. But alas, they had more important business to attend to.
Finally, out of frustration and fatigue, I waved the flag of surrender. I had been “ghosted” by the writing gods. Left rudely on read. …
If you’re looking for easy answers and quick solutions, you won’t find them here
I’ve been writing on the side now for almost two years, and during this time, I have learned so many things about what it takes to be a successful writer. I’ll admit I was a bit arrogant at the beginning. I mean I had taught writing for over twenty years, so there couldn’t be a lot to learn, right?
Wrong.
And I’m quite sad to say it took me at least a year to figure out my writing wasn’t anywhere close to the quality of the “big guns” in this field. So I’m hoping that by sharing some of the things I’ve learned, I can save you some time. …
You need to know if you want to be truly happy in a relationship
For years (and I mean many, many years), I focused on being what I thought the world wanted me to be: skinny, pretty, charming, and “pleasing.” And this was especially true in relationships.
If a potential lover liked football, I researched like an academic working towards his Ph.D. I could tell you all about downs and yardage, false starts and other penalties. And names? I made sure to know them. At least the ones on my current partner’s favorite team.
If I was dating a music lover, I attended concerts with him where I pretended to enthusiastically shout lyrics to the songs he loved, even though I secretly despised them. …
Accepting and analyzing your struggles may be the quickest way to reach your goals
Think about the words we use to describe continued achievement. Upward movement. Increased momentum. Forward progress. What these phrases have in common is that they can all be applied to science — and success.
Consider Newton’s first law of motion. It states that “an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.”
I’ve never been a science gal (teaching literature has been my life’s work), but the lesson I interpret from this law is that doing the things you normally do, such as mindlessly performing daily routines and using the same “trusty” toolbox of strategies over and over again, makes you an “object at rest.” …
Mannequins work for the fashion industry, not for the writing one
In my everyday life, I speak my mind. I have a voice, and I’m not afraid to use it. But somehow, when I write, my confidence falters. I think of what publishers want me to say, of the things I need to include to make the “big guns” want me, and thus far, I’ve been fairly successful at following their formulas.
But I’ve always hated math. Formulas don’t work for me. Politics don’t work for me. Technology — don’t even get me started.
What moves me? Big ideas do. Feelings do. Philosophy and psychology do. Books do. …
I’m only twelve percent into James Clear’s Atomic Habits, and it’s changing my whole perspective on personal growth.
I just bought my eighteen-year-old son a three thousand dollar computer with money made from my meager teacher’s salary. And no, he didn’t chip in with money from his side job. Because he doesn’t have one. I won’t let him work. And it has nothing to do with college success or good grades. It has to do with one percent.
His dream is to be a professional gamer. To be in a profession in which only the top one percent are successful.
And this is why I purchased the king of computers. …
A tale of a teacher, learner, and wild child
I was voted “Most Likely to Be Famous” in my senior year of high school. Perhaps it was my penchant for the theater. Maybe it was the kohl eyeliner that rimmed my eyes and the scarlet lipstick that adorned my adolescent lips. Maybe it was just that, even then, teens realized most stars are crazy and eccentric. And I was a mixture of both.
And speaking of mixtures, you won’t find a stranger human cocktail than me. I’ve always loved opposites. I was the poet that wore fishnets and ripped jeans. The wild child who smoked cigarettes in the bathroom but was asked to teach Shakespeare to the class when the teacher was absent. …
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