Struggles With Rejection

I have struggled with rejection since I was very young, whether it be rejection from romance, friendships, offers, and anything and everything in between. I really hate not being the best at something, and I’ve been trying to learn how to cope with it. I guess this is sort of why I started this blog, I need an outlet. I was doing extremely well socially at school (I’m a college student), was holding leadership positions in organizations, recently got promoted at work, and had a new romantic interest. Most of this disappeared this weekend. I lost my six best friends and practically all of my campus involvement all in the matter of 72 hours. I didn’t know what to do. Generally, when I get rejected, I turn to alcohol to cope like any poor-decision making student would do, but I decided not to this time. This was honestly one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, but I have managed to cope with it in a much healthier way than I expected. At first, it was awful, I did end up drinking and making a poor decision that night. But in the morning, I realized how much I’ve grown and how I can channel my frustrations into other things.

I switched to a vegan diet about two months ago, and I have managed to channel much of my anger, stress, and other issues into cooking. So naturally I spent hours in the kitchen this weekend making sauce and soup and beans and everything that I could think of so I could just forget. Forget what happened. Forget that people cut me out of their lives because it was no longer convenient for them to keep me as a friend. Forget that I am struggling so much in school and have been hiding it from my friends and family to the point that I had to step down from positions I held on campus. Forget that I slept with someone other than the guy I have developed real feelings for just because I was upset. Forget that I am embarrassed of myself. Forget that I struggle with rejection.

This is very scattered and I apologize for that, even though I am the only one reading this. If you have happened to stumble upon this, please feel free to leave constructive comments. I am really going through a lot right now and would love advice.