But they did come forward – that’s exactly the point.
Douglas Milnes
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In this case…media attention is what works in their favor. Because, again, he admitted on tape to doing exactly what they’re accusing him of. In high profile cases, there is often no justice without a bright, burning spotlight. After he admitted it, there’s no better spotlight to step into than the one in which your attacker set up with his very own words. After that point, it is worth the attention. After he has bragged about it, it is much more likely that you will get justice. Unfortunately, here we are, still choosing to believe an admitted abuser over his victims. Choosing to believe that they wanted the assaults to happen, even while they say they didn’t. That is gaslighting, pure and simple.

We, as a society, constantly gaslight sexual assault victims. It is part of what drives rape culture: our incessant need to disbelieve and blame them. Because of this, The Backlog exists and rapists roam free. There are hundreds of thousands of untested rape kits, partially because the officers in charge simply don’t believe the victims. Now that many states are devoting resources to going through their backlogs, there are hundreds of convictions being made and serial rapists are being discovered. Victims were forced to pay for their own rape kits and the kits were being destroyed without their knowledge. Just this month, Obama signed The Survivor’s Bill of Rights. Up until this month, the assailant had more rights and was better protected than their victim. That is rape culture, and Amanda Nguyen faced it head on to make a major change for survivors. Because we don’t believe victims and don’t bother to test the DNA, recidivism rates are high and rapists tend to be repeat offenders. They know it’s an easy crime to get away with and that message is repeated constantly through our society and through our legal system. They feed off of our disbelief. They feed off of our excuses and biases. We keep the victims silent and they “get to do anything they want” without consequence. When the victims do speak up, our justice system constantly fails them and gives the few who are convicted a slap on the wrist. The victim is mocked, demeaned, called names like “slut,” “whore,” etc., and at times, even threatened. Especially is the case for rich, powerful people, who can stop practically any case that comes to court by immense resources alone, including the most invaluable resources our society provides them with: disbelief, blame, and gaslighting.

Trump: “You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.
Victim: “He kissed me without waiting for my consent.”
Society: “No he didn’t, you’re just lying!”

Even after he literally said he did it, we still don’t believe the victim who also says he did. This is why victims don’t come forward. Even when the rapist is caught red handed, or openly admits to what was done, there is still a large portion of our society that refuses to believe the victim and blames them. Justice is still not served because we’re too busy questioning the victim’s clothing, their timing, and how many sexual partners they’ve had. We’re too busy not testing their rape kits because we don’t believe them.

Need more evidence of rape culture? Read all about the Steubenville gang rape case. … and here and here are some of the countless reactions to the case. This is what our society does to victims. Even to victims where there is video, photographic, and text messages evidenced, all pointing to one thing: she was raped. Yet, she was still not believed and blamed for her own horrific assault. People made threats against her and her family. The news coverage mourned for the rapists and their bright futures. Luckily, this was one of the few cases where an actual conviction took place, but in the majority of cases, there is no conviction, partly due to our failure at processing the DNA evidence.

This. Happens. All. The. Time.

Here’s yet another recent case. This guy doesn’t even have to register as a sex offender.

Need even more evidence? Please watch the Netflix documentary Audrie and Daisy.

Honestly, I’m beyond tired of explaining rape culture to people, because oftentimes, they actively engage in perpetuating it, and it is because of this that they are blind to it. It is hard to admit that you play a part in something so ugly… in something that creates more victims. I understand that. You claim to be intelligent, and seem to be very interested in the topic, so I’ve put aside this tiredness to try to help you see.

Without introspection…without asking ourselves….

Exactly what role do I play in this?

… the culture cannot be reversed and more people will be harmed and drug through the mud our society creates if they’re brave enough to speak up.

You obviously favor skepticism, as evident in your sentence: “…make me more suspicious than usual of the accusation.” Ask yourself: what role does that suspicion play? Because there is a very, very…very low percentage of false accusations when you take into account the inconsistent language and reporting practices that deem cases “false.” That suspicion you “usually” favor is a primary driver of rape culture. It is exactly why victims are afraid to come forward. If you find yourself “usually” being suspicious of assault accusations, you are the problem. Are you as suspicious of people that come forward to say they have been robbed too? These are all questions that you need to ask yourself. You don’t have to tell me the answers, because it’s between you and yourself. Are you going to be a good person and stand up for victims, or are you going to continually doubt them and cling to your bias, therefore helping to create more victims?

Why not wait another few weeks? Well, because then there would be people questioning why the victims waited another few weeks after the video came out.

…and why should they wait? They’ve waited long enough.

Make hay while the sun shines, so to speak. Why not raise your voice when people are listening closely?

Really. It’s simple. When your attacker is recorded admitting to what he has done to you and the tape has been released and played over and over again across the country, there is no better time to come forward. It takes serious guts to come forward against a man that powerful and there is power in numbers. The victim who has been working to get justice for years might finally get it, and it is because of Trump’s own admittance.

Trump says gleefully: “You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the p — — . You can do anything.”
Also Trump: “No, I have not done any of those things.”

Sure, your question is fair. But the answer is simple and painfully obvious:

It’s Trump against Trump. The victims have just come forward to corroborate his own words. He made his bed. Now he gets to lie in it.

I wasn’t going to pretend, but nice strawman, I guess.

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