DAYS I HAVEN’T MET CHARLIE BROOKER

Away, But Not Entirely

Projections

- VacationLand –

Day 185

The following takes place in my mind. This is what life would be like if we only existed in VacationLand! A magical place where artificial intelligence is so advanced that humankind simply exists to enjoy themselves – my kind of Utopia!!! Here goes absolutely nothing!

Alright, the Bahamas are as beautiful as I thought, who would have known? I tell you, I’m never doubting the majority of the planet who came here before I did, ever again. Ah, man, relaxing is the shit! After seeing all the World capitals, is nice to take a break before properly seeing the South Pole and living among the penguins. What’s that? Oh, thanks robot waiter, that’s another great White Russian!

Ah, man, being lazy is the best. After this wonderful day at the beach, I’m probably going to watch some dumb film and relax. I still haven’t checked the recent Oscar films and I’ve heard “Us” is a great cinema piece by X-1542c. I tell ya, that program clearly knows how to make great cinema. I believe I’ve seen all his past 30 films by now, can’t wait to see this one. And to think it’s been developing films only for 2 years…

Maybe I should wait for my wife to see that one? I don’t know. She might come home exhausted after her 107th lap around the World, maybe she’ll just want to enjoy her husband a bit. I might go to the gym for the next 3 months, stay as fit as she deserves. Well, it’s not like I have any excuses for not taking care of my body now. Hahaha!

Oh, God, I’m so alone in this Universe. I’ve nothing to worry about, so why am I feeling like this? Maybe that explains why suicide rates are so high…I just need to see my wife and then we get to pick what to do together, that’s all. I tell ya, the Bahamas is great and all, but it’s not like beaches can be so different from one another…shit, I’m grumpy now.

All done with my White Russian. Where’s my waiter? Oh God, he’s killing the other guests here! I knew it, Terminator, the Matrix, 2001 and all other clichés Sci-Fi were right! Oh no!!!!!!!

Day 185, Charlie. And that’s why we can’t have VacationLand.

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