Ideas, Ideas, Ideas…Ideas

Inner Thoughts

- Everyone’s millions–

Day 64

It’s a little shocking how long I’m taking to finally settle on my next spec’s final idea. It’s a drama, this much I know, and I’m currently between 5 different original possibilities. Am I bragging for calling them original? Well, I do hope they are. The thing is, I’m having a hard time focusing exclusively on one of them, so I can properly start the research process and everything else. It’s by far my favorite part of the creative process I designed for myself — trademark here — and I do enjoy the fact I get to watch films and read stuff while convincing my brain I’m properly working. It is, however, somewhat annoying to watch a 90 minutes long documentary in 6 hours, by pausing it every 2 minutes to write notes and stuff. Oh well…

I mainly have Mann’s “The Magic Mountain”, Moore’s “Providence” and the Olympic games as my major influences on this one. Not because they all make so much sense together, although they do up here, but mostly because those are the fresher things on my head at the moment. It usually takes me about 2 weeks to finish a spec after I start brainstorming. However, I’m really rusty right now, since I haven’t done it in a while. Long enough to make me feel guilty about it, but not long enough to stop me from presenting myself to the ladies as a “drama scriptwriter” at parties.

But that’s out of the question. I like trying to come up with new stuff and deciding what I’m going to create. To have some sort of freedom about it I never did working. I naturally envy people who reached that place where society gives you moneys for creating whatever you feel like it. Yeah, I know, they’ve worked hard for it, remained focused, motivated, knew the right peps, Bob Loblaw and stuff — and no matter what they did, they’ll always deserve what they got in some extent. Getting “there” is the one thing every single person doing what we do have in common. Whether you look for superficial, TMZ-ish glory and Facebook likes; or just enough on your plate so you don’t ever need to force yourself into another “functional” job. No matter what the shit you create, from the most masterful painting full of unknown intellectual references, to that new slogan convincing people drinking that brand new poisonous beverage is hip… we are all just hoping those so called hobbies can someday bring food on our tables. We’re no different than any late night regular karaoke singer.

And to do so, we need people. We desperately need those to follow us, to watch us, to read us, to have some sort of affection, feeling or whatever towards anything we might ever produce. That’s stating the obvious, clearly, but I think most “creators” tend to forget how much they’re just an extension to the attention they can bring upon themselves. I might be saying shit here — which is something I do a lot more often than I should — but that’s mainly the point I write specs for and I’m back writing them at least once a month. So they don’t get lost in my head. Someone might look at any of it someday and think, “hey man, that’s not bad”. I honestly believe, since there are over 6 billion peps on Earth, that no matter the shit you create, as good or as bad as any snob-ass pretentious fuck might judge it, there’s at least a few million people who would love learning more about it. It’s a simple fact inside my head I developed after standing so much I don’t appreciate, the knowledge that even Charles Manson had followers and knowing that percentage is a part of science and stuff. It isn’t impossible to be appreciated, I hope, the true bitch lies on being “discovered” by the right fellow minds. Besides our mommies and friends, obviously.

Day 64, Charlie. That’s my favorite Nintendo.