DAYS I HAVEN’T MET CHARLIE BROOKER

Patience’s own virtues

Projections

- A Sayan or Power -

Day 24

I’ll read that when I get home. 35 lines? Who the fuck sends an e-mail that long? Did I send stuff like that back in the day? Nah…I did not! If that little fucker’s script is over 15 fucking pages, I’m not going to do it. Shit. There’s also those kids that wrote me two weeks ago. I forgot about them. I’ll answer them all once I go to bed…if I don’t pass out or find something more important I have to do, like masturbating.

(…)Can’t remember last time I got drunk like that. My head is pounding like an ass, Jeebus. Hangovers do get worst as you get older, but that taste of a dead raccoon’s ass in my mouth is just as good as I remember. Shit, I promised her we’d go shopping tonight. I’m most definitely not getting out of this bed. I’m too busy convincing my own stomach that keeping my food inside my own body is what nature’s designed us to do. I’ll just do it next week.

(…)That’s a decent idea. I’m going to go with that one. They’ll definitely appreciate the whole presentation, I just hope we get the whole 13 episodes for the season. What time is it? Shit, no way I’ll get there in time. Well, there’s nothing you can do and you’re already late, so might as well just watch some dumb stuff on YouTube to relax for a bit. It’s like a friend used to say, you’re not late, you’re increasing expectations. Did that work in English? Shit, just pull a Hedberg here and convince yourself that you’re pulling a power move or something, your mind will buy whatever you come up with, it has already decided you’re going to rest way before this mental conversation started. I love how it’s never about coming up with reasons, but excuses.

(…)Who’s calling me? Fucking Charlie again?!?! That dude just won’t stop, will him? Fuck, I told him I’d help him out with that…thing last week, didn’t think he’d get this anxious about it! You know, I should ignore him for a while…play a little hard to get for once in my life. The power! I never felt it like this before. I think I finally understand why interesting women took that long to reply me back in the day, it’s all about the power! I feel it in my veins like I’m about to go Super Sayian or something! Well…in perspective, it probably didn’t take them that long because of the power-greed thing, but more due to the Sayian rad references…Oh well, I might have forgotten who I was and where I came from. Maybe I should rethink some stuff…but after Charlie. Make that sucker wait until he starts his own “Days I Haven’t Met” about me bullshit…

…ok big dude, back to real life and it’s still day 24…trippy…

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