DAYS I HAVEN’T MET CHARLIE BROOKER

Making Pro-Active Dreams Come True

Inner Thoughts

- The 100% Me -

Day 176

We have a very famous expression back in my Country that goes “don’t let the water hit your ass to start moving.” In a nutshell, that pretty much means don’t wait until the last minute to do something. What can I say, we Brazilians are creative sometimes. Anyway, too little to late for me now, as I’ve just realised I’m way over the passing point of drowning on my own laziness.

Since that’s what’s going on, I’m kind of left without a choice here. Meaning, I’m getting my shit together this week or…well, I’m getting my shit together this week. However, it must be highlighted that I’ve written about similar topics about 6 other times here — one of the negative/positive things about writing this thing daily is that I get to keep an official track record on my own self bullshitting myself.

I’m not truly desperate nor anything, I’m just in one of those positions where I’ll be needing some horizon very soon. And by ‘horizon’, please read money. And by ‘needing’, please enunciate the word slowly to fit its dramatic sense on the sentence. And since that became an urgent matter to me, mostly due to some poor decisions like buying myself a nice vacation trip this month to reward…absolutely nothing but my existence, I’m actually focusing this once for reals. Meaning I’ll finally get to live my truest potential (shit, even I’m laughing of this one).

I gotta say, I just had to write that. I feel it’s quite a common feeling among all of us, whenever we fail, to blame our lack of interest on the given matter. Saying “oh, man, if I gave it 100%, I’m sure I would have made it.” I love it and I do it myself almost every minute, every day! Honestly, I can’t wait to finally meet this extremely focused best version of me that my subconscious keeps bragging about. It’s like he could be anything he sets his mind to but he’s eternally too cool for school.

And well, that same guy is the very biggest reason why I ALWAYS believe I’ll make things differently whenever I’m trying something for the 100th time. Even though I almost never truly change a sufficiently relevant bit of whatever I’m trying, despite the constant insistence inside my head that keeps convincing me “oh, no, dude, now you’ve learned your lesson! Now we’ll do things differently.” Shockingly, this vicious cycle continuous almost exclusively due to the fact I’m a true believer that the day this 100% version of me pops out, man, we’re gonna be presidents/astronauts of the whole galaxy!!!

As you get older you start to get used to the idea, or better yet you start to accept the fact, that you’re already the 100% version of your own self. With all its hits and misses. But denying it is what makes you stubborn enough to keep on trying whatever you need to keep on trying, so might as well always expect that dude. Every Monday is a new day, maybe someday that magnificent bastard will come along to swipe my world. I’ve seen glimpses of him, whenever I actually gave a shit. Perhaps that’s what I need to do. Or just drowning completely.

Day 176, Charlie. I bet you’ll love that version of me.

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