Rule 1: Be Attractive — Rule 2: Don’t Be Unattractive
I’m back! ⚡️
It’s been some time since I did this and the only thing that blocked me from starting was choosing a blog platform. Medium won.
Sometimes I’ll be blogging original content, but most of the time I’ll just be sharing the gems I find all across the Internet.
Submitted by randomnonwhiteguy
I actually really like this saying because it’s a lot like the 3 rules of real estate (location, location, location) — on the surface it seems very a priori and redundant. People repeat it to the point that it’s considered a cliche or a meme. But most who do so don’t get it — for those who are in the know, the simplistic rules actually belie an important set of principles.
Rule 1: Be Attractive
The emphasis here is on be. Being attractive takes proactivity. It means learning what women will respond to, learning how to escalate in a way that excites them, making approaches, taking the time out to go to the gym and eat right, and making yourself into the person you want to be so the natural confidence follows. 95% of the time, these things do not just come naturally. Most men had to learn what they were doing through a painful process of trial and error, some supplementing with all this reading material at your fingertips. Very few made it by just sitting there expecting things to literally fall into their laps; being attractive takes work.
Rule 2: Don’t Be Unattractive
A huge part of game is un-learning bad habits that were somehow instilled in you that women find to be huge turn-offs. We’ve all hopefully learned how to recognize the unattractive behavior of thirsty men who never get laid and we actually cringe when we see it — things like neediness, insecurity, over-eagerness, getting frazzled by s**t tests, putting women on pedestals. We know how simple it is to fix, how uninformed you have to be to end up at that point, we sometimes even see our former selves in it. Don’t be unattractive — learn how to spot it and put a stop to that behavior.
I think that whenever I see this on reddit, it comes off as “looks are the only thing that matters.” This couldn’t be any further from the truth, I know men who look like models that are extremely sexually frustrated, and stumpy guys with pig faces who are on dates with new girls every other day. The difference between the two is indeed their attractiveness — and it has nothing to do with looks.
(Also, for those who are unaware/curious, the three locations in home real estate refer to the lot’s proximity to culture [parks, schools, cafes, etc], to transportation infrastructure, and to local factors affecting whether the real estate’s value will appreciate.)
A comment by MacFatty was a gem too.
You can be attractive in many ways. Like you and above guy said, the first thing that comes to mind is an aesthetically pleasing face. Yes, we can’t all look the same and we’re born with this face, BUT! Very few people are truly ugly. VERY VERY few. You can do so much for your image.
First is getting in shape. No one is telling you to get that Calvin Klein body, but drop the overweight. Not only does that show your actual face and it’s features, you instantly drop the whole “unhealthy, lazy” first impression people get.
Secondly, buy clothes that fit. No one gives two f***s what brand it is, just make sure it fits. A handsome fella could dress like a slob, and he wouldn’t come off as the handsome guy he is. If you don’t know if it fits, ask the employees of the shop of their opinion. In my opinion, ask a man about mens clothing.
Thirdly, grooming and odor. Go to a barbar/hairdresser and be free to discuss with them what you like and what suits your face. Make sure to ask them to show you how said hairstyle is styled at home. Beard. Some men look great with stubbles or an actual beard, but to do this, you need to have enough facial hair to actually grow a beard. I’ve seen so many young guys with what looked like pubes on their face. Shave that s**t off unless you can get the real deal. Again, ask someone if this could fit your face. While you should be YOU, getting outside opinions are a valueable tool. Go buy a good deodorant or cologne. For this, I like to approach female shopkeepers for assistance, because you want to attract the female crowd and their opinion of “smells good” may be very different from that of a mans. Explain you want a deodorant or cologne that comes off as not too heavy but fresh. Old men wear that carpet heavy s**t.
Fourth, be confident in who you are. This is by far the hardest. To accept you are who you are, but also have goals to work for. Better job, better physical body, build your own house. Doesn’t matter, as long as you have a goal. Once you set that goal, an interest in the subject will develop and you will have something to share that you care about. Women (my experience) love listening to a man telling about something he really cares about and puts energy into. Doesn’t matter what really. Feel the water, don’t go rambling for 30 minutes about how you climbed a rock. If she really cares, she’ll ask.