stop with the stupid beach body

Your body is a flower that life let bloom…. ~Ilchi Lee

let me just say this first — if you are only working out for the 6 weeks you think it will take you to get a “beach body”, here is your reality check. if that is all it takes, you are extremely blessed genetically — or extremely delusional. maybe both. and i would like to start the conversation about getting rid of the term “beach” body. you know whose body looks good on the beach? EVERYONES. you know why? because THEY ARE ON THE BEACH. which means, they are either on a much needed/deserved/desired vacation. or they live there. and they are LUCKY to be there. i completely resent the idea that only certain bodies look good on the beach. or anywhere for that matter. who the fuck decides what looks good & where? and why are we so hung up on the idea that we have to impress the people who may happen to be within eyesight of us in our bathing suits. fuck them. if they dont have anything better to do than judge you, LET THEM. that is not within your control. if you spend your life trying to live up to someone else’s definition of what looks good, you will never be happy. and i want you to be happy. happy people look good at the beach. and everywhere else. happy is a good look on absolutely everyone. and as soon as you let go of that “other people” expectation thing, you are much closer to being there.

If you want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

why should you exercise? or eat right? because being HEALTHY is important. HEALTHY. not pretty. or ripped up. or whatever pleases society today. that’s a lose/lose. because society is fickle. if you grew up when i did, you remember the anorexic kate moss stage being the standard of “beauty”. her beach body was literally TRANSPARENT. that calvin klein ad with kate moss and marky mark was pretty much a slap in the face to every normal looking person on earth — this is what you should look like if you just (fill in the blank — never eat again, spend 14 hours a day in the gym, are paid to be pretty). it is totally unrealistic for the normal person. and a collision course with continuous disappointment. because if SHE can look like that, than i should be able to also. which is just patently false. FALSE. totally UNTRUE. and yet we continue to buy into it.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. ~Frederick Keonig

this craziness turns into fads. its a constant cycle of trying to keep up with what you should look like NOW. you know, like the hot thing now…. WAIST TRAINERS. what fucking century is this? my great grandmother just rolled over in her grave — on top of her ridiculously painful CORSET! wake up people! the only way to lasting satisfaction is to stop trying to be something you are not. you should just be the best version of you that you can — at any given moment. maybe some of those moments include a 6 pack — maybe they dont. and both versions are just fine. we have got to get off of this horrible treadmill of torturing ourselves to look a certain way. actually, i say stay away from any and all treadmills, but that’s just a personal issue :) do i want you to work out? of course i do. but i want you to work out because you want to. or because it makes you feel better. or makes you cope better. or makes you feel like you can kick a little ass. for any or all of those reasons. working out should be EMPOWERING. because you are doing something FOR YOU. you are taking care of the body you have to LIVE in. if you want that body to be skinny — cool. and if you dont, thats cool too. if your body works well enough for you to enjoy your life, take care of your family and have fun on the beach — then you are WINNING.

Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing. ~Harriet Braiker

lets just stop all this nonsense. there is no miracle shake or pill or workout to give you the “perfect” body. because there is NO SUCH THING. do you hear me……NO SUCH THING. the perfect body to you might look like a model or a movie star. the perfect body to me looks like an athlete. and we are both right. because perfection is subjective. and the grass is always greener. always!! how about we all just try to enjoy our own lawn — however jacked up it might be. that’s the lawn you own — and the only way to make it greener is to TAKE CARE OF IT. and to stop obsessing about someone elses.

I cling to my imperfection, as the very essence of my being. ~Anatole France, The Garden of Epicurus, 1894

i understand that this is hard. its a work in progress for me too. im going to the beach in 5 days. with a far from perfect body. and i couldnt be happier. you know what is nice about NOT having a “beach body”? there is no fucking PRESSURE to keep it. i get to go to the beach and sit there with people of all ages, all shapes, sizes and colors. every single one of us will look different. because we are all inherently unique. and that’s pretty freakin awesome if you think about it. live your life by your own standards. push yourself to YOUR capacity. define for yourself what those benchmarks are that make you happy. its ok to want a 6 pack. its just not ok to beat yourself up over NOT having one. why beat yourself up at all?

So long as we are in conflict with our body, we cannot find peace of mind. ~Georg Feuerstein

this is MY plan for a beach body: workout — get stronger & feel better eat good food — including lots of protein & carbs & fat & fiber…..with coffee & cupcakes go to the beach — put your feet in the sand & soak it all in! life is too short & you have better things to do than stress over how you look in a bathing suit. you know how you look in a bathing suit? happy to be at the freaking beach!

The beauty of my body is not measured by the size of the clothes it can fit into, but by the stories that it tells. I have a belly and hips that say, “We grew a child in here,” and breasts that say, “We nourished life.” My hands, with bitten nails and a writer’s callus, say, “We create amazing things.” ~Sarah, from I Am Beautiful

Originally published at on May 1, 2017.

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