A Born Outcast
“Now, our next guest needs no introduction but we’re going to go on ahead and give him one just for the fun of it. Coming to the stage, give it up for the newest member of the ‘PEGOT’ club!” [crowd applause] “Now for those of you who are unaware, this means he is one of three people to have won a Grammy, Emmy, Oscar, Tony, and Pulitzer Prize.” [crowd applause again] “Wendell Denis aka “DBNAIR MBW” has spent his life’s work creating what seems to be the soundtrack to life, and we are all honored to celebrate this achievement with him!”
Wait…
Before you google Wendell Denis or DBNAIR MBW, I should probably let you know that as of 2022 you won’t find anything… and that’s because this introduction hasn’t happened yet. But it will! Soon enough. Then, we’ll be able to look back at this blog post in awe of how I was able to predict the future.
Without seeing your face, I can probably guess that your eyebrows are pulled down, your eyes are squinting, and your jaw is open. Yes, it’s the confused look that stands in front of me anytime I’m asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” To relieve them of facial stress, I usually laugh it off and say “Just kidding, I want to be an English teacher.” This is a daily occurrence in the life of a “Born Outcast.”
Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Wendell Denis and I am an English major at Binghamton University. As I near my graduation date, I am grateful for all the experiences I have come across here at university, especially the bad ones. In these past four and a half years as a college student, I’ve witnessed the world change in ways I could have never imagined. A global pandemic, who would’ve thought? But it was in the midst of tragedy I birthed an alter ego, one to express many of the emotions and personalities I tend to hide from public view. It was during my darkest moments in which “DBNAIR MBW” came about.
DBNAIR is an artist, but not just in the musical understanding of the word. He is an artist in how he paints the reality of his life. Nothing is real, nothing matters. Everything is a show and we are meant to perform in the sole presence of our reflections. Although this might sound poetic, it mainly came about as a way of coping with feeling lost in a world that didn’t understand me. My dreams were always considered “unrealistic” and my goals sounded like Charlie Brown mumbling to strangers. I was often alone, creating alternate realities in my head.
As a child, the only consistency in my life was Thursday night piano lessons at Rockland Conservatory. Ironically, I didn’t enjoy it at all, but I was well above average and became a fan favorite at recitals. My teacher said it had something to do with my touch, as if my emotions guided each note I played. So from age 7 on, I played the piano. My creativity developed along with my music ability and melodies became my primary form of expression. Then, I grew a love for literature and its beautiful ability to transcribe the vibrations that make us human. When matched properly, the marriage between words and music can truly produce an “out of body” experience for the listener, and for so long that experience is what kept me alive. The world in which my soul would escape to harmonize with comforted me in a way beyond description. As the outside world turned darker, I longed for ways to become more in tune with my created realities. By the age of 17, I began recording my own songs and that was when I truly began to feel peace. In a span of 3 years I recorded over 100s of songs, only to be heard by myself, the soundtrack to my life.
It wasn’t until March 15th 2020, that my struggle to find a place in the world again surfaced. For this was the day in which all university classes became remote and my father picked me up from school. The uncertainty of it all struck my anxiety like never before. It became hard to do much of anything. I was surrounded by sadness and for a brief time became incapable of entering my alternate universe. My only concern was “If today was my last, how would I feel knowing that the world would have never gotten to see what I was capable of?” The world would have never heard my voice or ideas. All I could think of in response was “I have to leave a legacy that can be remembered, at least by the family members who had to live with a strange kid making noises in the living room.” So, that’s what I did and on April 13th I released my first song ever to all streaming platforms, but that’ll be a story for another blog post.
It has since been a little over two years since my decision to go public. A lot has happened both good and bad. I have gotten the chance to record music videos and vlogs, perform live shows with fellow artists, record and write for bigger names, etc., but my biggest achievement so far came on October 3rd 2021 in Clifton, NJ. On that day, I performed in front of a sold out crowd that included one special member, my dad. For the first time “unrealistic” dreams seemed possible.
If you’ve made it this far in my introductory blog post, it’s probably because you too, have crazy dreams that the world just doesn’t understand. You’re probably familiar with all the confused looks and all the ways in which people describe the things you say. You know what it feels like to have to lie about your career goals and future plans. But that’s the exact reason I am writing this post, you’re not alone. You are what I liked to call a “Born Outcast.” Someone who was made to embrace their “weirdness” and be different, challenging the boundaries of what we call possible. In this blog, I’ll be taking you along that journey and providing what I’ve learned along the way. It hasn’t been easy, but then again, not everyone is a future PEGOT winner…
