Confessions on a Front Porch at 3 A.M.

We all have been there. Sitting on the porch with your best friend inhaling and exhaling the last bit of toxin flowing through your veins. You’re pissed because 1) it is 3 a.m. and you’re still up 2) you’re outside and it is negative 2 degrees outside and 3) it is 3 a.m. in the fucking morning.

But despite the problems you know you would not want to be anywhere, but right there. In that moment. Because you know that being on the front porch is more than a front porch. The front porch is the key to letting the walls down and allowing yourself to be unguarded and opened.

3 a.m. conversations are the best type of conversation, especially on the front porch.

  1. Filters are gone, anything goes.

It does not matter what you were talking about it, the filters are gone. The curse words, opinions, beliefs, name calling all flow out like a fucking monsoon only you forgot your umbrella. You literally say whatever is on your mind. You could be talking about talking about a professor that you have in class and then your friend describes her raunchy XXX fantasy about the professor who you have to see the next day and during this meeting you find yourself fantasizing the same fantasy as your friend while he talks to you about your senior thesis. You can’t help, but to blush at him. Literally, anything goes unfiltered at 3 A.M. You could realize that your friend has a mouth like a sailor or the mind of a pornstar. (Yes, Charlie. I just revealed your secret. You can be a pornstar if you want to be. I’ll be sure to give it to Dr. Walt, so he knows.)

2. You talk about anything.

I do mean anything. There are no restrictions to the conversation. Life (I don’t want to adult), love (as long as we have each other we will be good), hopes (I hope that Chris Hemsworth divorces his wife), dreams (I just want to go to Disney World!), failures (You forgot your coffee didn’t you?), memories (ha remember that time we blew up all of those condoms?), and anything that meets your fancy. Some of my personal favorite 3 a.m. topics are: Am I a freak? Are we freaks, bound and determined to live alone with our cats? How did we end up on the porch? Do you think I will get an “A” if I date his son? If Gatsby finishes last, then enlighten me on how Tom finishes first? Is it just me or are those shadows getting closer to us? Will it be like this forever?

3. There are no secrets

Someone is the most honest they can be with you at 3 A.M. There are no more secrets because the witching hour is upon us and the walls have finally fallen. The shadows you hide behind during the day have now transformed into a cloud surrounding you without a way to shield from it. The secrets that we now kept are open to the public. You know that unleashing them you will relieve your soul from the burden and know that when morning comes their safety is just as secure as was before. So go ahead, reveal that you’re in love with your best friend (most of the time we know anyways). That you secretly pee in the shower or that one time when you shared stolen kisses under the light of a thousand stars (Thank you Eddie for the song reference). Or that you purposely pushed me into the mud puddle before my big presentation (asshole move. Revenge is in the making…). But it is okay, because as you unleash these secrets it is a known rule to not ever speak of them once the sun rises.

4. We cry.

Yes, you cry. You cry because all of the stress from reality temporarily leave your body. You cry because you may have reached a breaking point. You cry to let the sadness, heartache, and loneliness out. You cry because you’re happy. And you cry because you’re angry. You cry because for those short precious hours you have someone else there who shows that he or she gives a damn about you and you never want this night to end. You never want to leave this temporary Neverland.

5. You fall in love.

It doesn’t matter whether it is with your lover, your best friend, yourself, the stars, or the man in the moon; you eventually fall in love at some point during this precious time. It is a time in which you truly see someone for who they are and it is remarkable. You could be sitting perpendicular to someone, tangled in thoughts of the literary world, when he gives you this look. But it is not just a look. It is a look that you only come across once or twice in your life and it makes you forget everything and become fully submerged in his world. A look that you never want to look away from because he seems to see beyond outer traits and straight into your soul. The look makes you turn into a somebody and not just a wallflower.It is not that you fall in love with him, but you fall in love with the feeling he just instilled you with. You fall in love with the idea of occupying someone’s mind for one brief moment. You fall in love with finding yourself amongst his eyes. With the only one knowing the secret is the man in the moon.

But the most important part of 3 a.m. conversations is that you will never forget them. They are those rare conversations that you treasure more than anything in the world and it brings you the closest you can be with a person. When the sun rises, you feel a pang in your heart because that means the end of the conversation, walls slowly build back up and you find yourself once more hiding in the shadows.

Find your front porch. Inhale whatever you want to or don’t want to. Embrace your happiness because 1) it is 3 a.m. and you’re still up 2) you’re outside and it is negative 2 degrees outside and 3) it is 3 a.m. in the fucking morning and you are about to have the best conversation you have ever experienced.

Embrace the freedom of the night and the conversations in waiting.
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