Note: let that shit go

I no longer have the time or patience to ask peoples' attention. That’s why I’m probably going to end up all alone. That hurts, if you ask me. But I’m done with this shit. I no longer worry about what they think or not about whatever I say or do. I’m done with doing whatever it takes to be accepted as a “good friend”. I don’t want that kind of friendship anymore. That kind, that only works when they need something. That kind, which the only one who starts conversations is me. That kind, when every time I attempt to say something serious I am mocked. This is not friendship. This is not right. This is bullshit. And it’s painful.

As I said before, I’m not so scared about spending my days all alone. Not anymore. I know that hurts. I can feel it in my bones all the time, from the moment I wake till the end of the day. But I’m getting used to the idea of being just me. I’m getting used to the idea of "If nobody enjoys my company then I’ll be the one to do it". It’s not easy. Not even close. But I can’t escape this. It’s too late. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try... they already have their own opinions about me and that’s it: annoying, worthless talk, worthless advices, too old for this, too newbie for that.

Seriously, I no longer have patience for this shit. If someone appreciates something about me, great! Otherwise, what else can I do? I don’t owe anything to anyone. Neither do they to me. Chances are this may sound a little bit arrogant. Frankly I don’t give a flying fuck about it.