Doing This 1 Thing Will Help You Get Rid Of So Much Stress In Your Life

Dean Graziosi
Nov 15, 2018 · 3 min read
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It’s human nature to become a different person depending on who you’re with or the situation you’re in.

We all do it. We tell our spouse one thing and our friends another. We claim to love something in public but despise it in private.

We do this because it’s convenient, and most of us don’t consider it lying.

But here’s the thing — it is. And by being less than honest with ourselves so routinely, we damage our own health and happiness. In fact, our continual dishonesty is a fundamental producer of stress.

The remedy? Brutal honesty.

As a younger man, I was like everyone else. I wasn’t transparent. For example, I wasn’t happy in my marriage, yet I never talked about my dissatisfaction — I even actively tried to ignore it.

Ultimately, this is true of every secret you keep. We hold things inside and operate in dishonest ways because it’s easier. But you know the old adage, the hard choice is always the right choice?

That exists for a reason.

But the easy choice — lying to yourself and to the world — is almost always the wrong choice. By lying to those you love, by not being transparent with those you work with, you hurt both the universe and your own heart. The lies we tell hold us back.

I know this from experience.

When I decided, finally, to practice brutal honesty in my life — to share openly the opinions I held; to be transparent with my team and family members; to strive for authenticity in every avenue of my life — that’s when I became the version of myself I always wanted to be. That’s when I became happy and comfortable in my own skin.

Brutal honesty is, in this sense, a key component of actualizing your true potential.

Challenge yourself to be brutally honest.

I’m issuing this challenge to everyone who is reading this because I know it’s effective in healing the aspects of your life which cause you pain.

But I want to be clear that I’m not advocating for you to be rude or crass. Practicing brutal honesty is about conducting yourself in a way that you’d be comfortable with no matter your company.

Ask yourself:

  • Would you still say this comment about the person you’re talking about if that person was sitting beside you?
  • Do you believe genuinely in the opinion you’re expressing at this luncheon or meeting?
  • Would you be comfortable with other people hearing what you’re saying right now, just in general?

If not, don’t say it.

That’s brutal honesty. And that’s what I’m challenging you to practice. Take some time to reflect on who you are, what you believe in, and how you want to be perceived. Then go and present that version of yourself to the world at all times.

Don’t talk behind people’s backs. Don’t deny the true ambitions or concerns swimming inside of you. In fact, when people ask how you’re feeling, tell them the truth — that you’re failing, or that you’re hurting, or that you want to find a better way.

Telling the truth solves problems — it eliminates the stress and anxiety which prevent action.

Dishonesty, on the other hand, only proves to hurt you.

At the end of the day, this is the primary reason you should try to practice brutal honesty. It’s a means of combating, once and for all, the toxins we allow to fester inside of us — the doubt, the anxiety, and the uncertainty which poisons not only our own ability, but the happiness and well-being of those around us, too.

It’s why, if you today are feeling as I did when I was younger, you should give brutal honesty a try. Even if you’re not feeling stressed or anxious like I was, do it for the sake of the communities you live in.

Because just as dishonesty is contagious, transparency and honesty are, too — except in spreading, they empower instead of disable.

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