Work/Life

They value wealth. I value contentment.

They value starting. I value finishing.

They value authority. I value personhood.

They value accolades. I value legacy.

They value speed. I value steadfastness.

They value status. I value results.

They value theatrics. I value story.

They value future. I value now.

It occurred to me, as I sit here watching my son play on the floor, that my values are out of alignment with a lot of my contemporaries. Oh, they’ll say otherwise, but truth is undefeatable — I watch and I learn. What I see many people doing is not what those same people profess is important to them. Their actions speak otherwise.

I just read a post on social media where a top agent in Hollywood asked a very interesting question: How do you define an amazing work ethic and how important is that work ethic to becoming a successful media composer?

The hubris that followed was almost sickening. I was very pleased to see many level-headed people (also, interestingly, some of the more successful people in the group) commenting that they don’t pursue the long nights and crazy schedules, choosing instead to spend that time with family and friends. It was equally appalling, however, to see how many people choose the opposite.

Here was a particularly vomit-inducing response from a dude:

“When I’m on a deadline, I’m putting in 125–150 hour work weeks. If this is your life, your legacy, than (sic) it’s not about trying to do it as little as possible (like “paycheck” composers who only put in 9–5), it’s about accomplishing the “new impossible”, the latest greatest feat. If you want to continue to compete in the Olympics, you have to keep raising your bar, because people just keep getting better and better. An “Olympic” level Film Composer is always ahead of the game, ahead of the competition. That’s as much a part of the job, as “getting it done”. You can’t bank on someone who’s only adequate at the moment. In a decade or two that person will be an old dry cracking leaf at the bottom of a pile of leaves in fall, while the new trees fight strong.”

Jesus Christ.

I’d like to direct this guy to the published comments by some of the world’s most accomplished Olympians on rest and recuperation, but I’m convinced they’d do him no good. He’s either going to die young and wanting or old and bitter. Or both. Wait, sorry. That’s not possible. Unless you’re a complete asshole.

Noble or Not?

That kind of lifestyle sounds really noble, right? Like, “Damn, son! You are a real go-getter!” And the “start-up” entrepreneurial culture we are in right now encourages that. Hustle, hustle, hustle. That’s cool. But if you desire a legacy that’s meaningful to anyone but yourself, I’m not sure you can have your cake and eat it too. How likely are your children to thank you on your death bed for all the work you did? Doubtful.

I’m no card when it comes to this. I’ve had to learn this the hardest way I think you can. I’ve sacrificed family members, friends, and relationships along the way to finding a balance. That’s sacrifice, as in “they aren’t in my life anymore because I fucked this up”. I placed work as a priority over people. Looking back, I’m ashamed of that. I’m happy to say that I gave that up for a better way many years ago. But it still cost me dearly and I think about it often.

But, morality is not the only reason why figuring this out has been beneficial. I’ve also become a bit more educated on the subject of work versus rest.

The Science on Overworking

Did you know that, scientifically, any kind of work schedule that moves past 50 hours in a week actually results in a diminished return?

That’s not my opinion, that’s cold hard calculated and measurable science. Irrefutable science. There are numerous reputable studies that have been done on this, don’t just take my word for it. Here’s one that was conducted by Stanford University.

The real trick to working and living a balance is making sure that the work you are doing is tightly focused and yielding a high-quality return. If you work 50 hours a week but don’t produce anything, what the hell are you working so hard for? Working hard is not a badge of honor unless you are getting superior results. Stop convincing yourself that you are a stud-ballz because you put in the hardcore grind. If you can’t show a return for that hustle, you are punching yourself out for no reason.

Bottom-line: On the scientific level, get a life. Really.

On the happiness quotient level, you deserve to find a better way to convince yourself you’re not a piece of shit.