Cancer: One Victim’s Story

“Goodnight, honey.”

“Goodnight, honey.”. These were the last words sent to me over Facebook Messenger from my aunt, sent to me a few months before she died of stage four colon cancer. “Goodnight, honey.”. Simple, yet, under the circumstances of her death, I truly believe that God wanted that small sentence to be her last message…

I took care of my aunt the second I found out that she had colon cancer in 2015. I remember before she was diagnosed that she was not eating anything at all, and she was depressed all of the time. She wanted to be in isolation all day. I knew she had started to be depressed over the death of my grandfather, who passed away back in 2014, as well as the death of my uncle, who died in a car crash before I was born. I was worried that she was becoming an anorexic. She truly would not eat anything, no matter how hard we tried to get her to eat.

I took care of her every day after school before I had to go to drama club rehersal at my high school. Every single day I was by her side, even if she didn’t want me to be. I was her humble servant, and I would do it again. Even if she didn’t need anything I would still lay at her bedside, holding her hand or hugging her. I was her support system. I was always so sad to see her in such pain. If I was placed in a situation where either she or I would have the cancer, I would have taken the cancer in a heartbeat. She and I always hated those cancer commercials, because she was living with it. There has always been quite a bit of cancer in my family.

I remember the last day I saw her. That week was tough, and the days and weeks and months that went by were even more difficult, with each passing second increasing with the intensity of the sadness the family shared. I had a semi-normal school day. I kept thinking about her, and I had an uneasy feeling. My father picked me up from school. We went to Arby’s for an after-school meal. My father had explained to me that my mother called him and asked him to have him drive us to the hospital so we could see my aunt, and say hello to her and say our goodbyes.

When we got to the hospital, we rushed up to her floor. My mom was there with my sister and uncle. I was surprised to see my sister, since she only returns home occasionally. I popped in, said hello to my mother, uncle, and aunt, and then I noticed how pained my aunt looked. Her eyes were half closed, and just tiny slits of her eyes remained open, as if she was half awake and half asleep. Then my mother explained to me that my aunt was hard of hearing and that she was dying and was going to die soon, possibly within a week, or in a few days, or sooner. I yelled at everyone to get out of the room because I wanted to have my last alone time with her. I said as hello as loud as I could to her while simultaneously crying, and I felt her hand twitching, which meant that she could hear me and acknowledged my presence. After a few minutes I couldn’t stand to be there anymore. I didn’t want to see her in her state of immense pain.

My father and I left the hospital and I immediately went to bed. My mind had stopped and was filled with immense sadness. I cried so much that I couldn’t sleep and my pillows were soaked with tears. I remember that my father was downstairs watching television. Then we recieved a phone call that would change everything. My mother called my father and said that my aunt had died. My father raced up the stairs to tell me and he told me to get dressed and get in the car immediately, which I did. We raced to the hospital once again. I never knew that that day was the last day that I was ever going to see her. I was contemplating wether or not I should go when my father and I were at Arby’s, because I was exhausted from a long day at school. On the car ride to the hospital my father told me that it was good that I got the chance to say goodbye. What followed was a pale face, asleep, waiting to one day rise again when Jesus comes, and countless tears and tissues. I believe everything happens for a reason, and there was a reason God wanted me to visit her that day and there was a reason that her last message was “Goodnight, honey.” Whenever family said “I love you.” to her, she always said “I love you more.” To remember her, we started using her phrase, and we realized that life is too short on this mortal plane of Earth. The following days after the funeral I felt no ssdness or pain. No emotion whatsoever. Then during the funeral the waterfalls of tears came pouring down nonstop. I remember seeing her face, as white as a dove. We played her favorite songs, and my sister’s friend made a CD of all of her favorite songs which we listen nonstop to.

There is a reason for everything that ever was, ever is, and ever will be. God holds our futures in his hands, so we must not worry. To worry is to doubt God and His plans.

“Goodnight, honey.” To the amazing woman with a heart of gold, we love you more. Love, your adoring family. ❤ Debra Sue Mosher-Grasso, Wednesday, March 20th, 1957- Friday, October 21st, 2016

One day the horrible disease known as cancer will be cured and will be a distant memory of a terrible past. I can not wait for that day. When that day comes, people all across the world will sing Hallelujah in harmony, and a blanket of love, warmth, peace and happiness will cover the Earth. God is good.

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version

1If I speak in the tonguesa of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,b but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

a 1 Or languages
b 3 Some manuscripts body to the flames