Dear Baby Boy
To Our Dearest “Baby Boy” Rolo,
Yesterday was Mommy and Daddy’s first day without you and it was the most difficult day of our lives. We miss you so much. You passed early in the morning of October 6th just weeks shy of your 7th birthday. Mommy and Daddy never anticipated that our time together would be cut so short and so unexpectedly. Nothing could have ever prepared us for your sudden passing. For the past few days, Mommy has felt that she had to be strong for Daddy. He’s been an absolute wreck without you, but he also knows that you don’t want to see him sad. So instead of dwelling on the pain of losing you, we are refocusing our energy to doing things that make you happy. That’s why we are writing you these letters.
Yesterday, we held a private cremation with all four of your grandparents. While the days and hours leading up to this point were filled with intense worry and agony, once we had your ashes with us, Mommy and Daddy felt comforted by your presence and were finally able to start the healing process guided by your love. We brought your ashes back to SF and made sure to hit up all of the special places we frequented with you in the past: Lands End, the Presidio, Golden Gate Park, Japantown, and Fort Point. Did you like visiting these places today with Mommy and Daddy? These are all places where you loved to sit back and watch the world go by. We made sure to enjoy them as much as you always did.
Looking through all of your pictures revived so many great memories for us. One of the best memories was the first day we brought you into our home after your trek away from your sisters from Sacramento. Daddy had to carry you up to our apartment because you were still too small and fragile to climb the stairs. For mommy, it was love at the first sight of you. She had no idea that that would be just the beginning of your ongoing lessons that would span 7 years on what it means to love unconditionally and selflessly. On that fateful day, you became our son, our little guy, but mostly our “Baby Boy”.
From that moment, we began to find more and more things to love about you: your pee-pee paws, your stinky smile, your sticky drool, all of your noises (grunts, snores, and poofs), your joyous eyes, and your expressive soft ears. But what we love and miss the most is your comforting scent. Mommy always buried her face in your head to get giant whiffs of it because she said that it always calmed her down on even the most stressful of days. Your scent always got all over our clothes, car, and bed. What’s funny now is that in the past, Daddy was always worried about getting your fur and stinky-ness on himself and the furniture. But now your scent is all that he wants. He keeps looking for things with your scent attached to it-anything that can remind him of you. Now he’s just worried about one day losing your scent and forgetting what you smell like.
These past few days have been so hard for Mommy and Daddy. There were times when we thought our hearts would give out from the heartache. But they’ve had such an outpouring of love from those around them that they’ve been able to keep strong. You see, you not only touched Mommy and Daddy’s lives, but you touched the lives of everyone you ever met. People you’ve shared your love to over the last 7 years poured it back to help your Mommy and Daddy during their toughest times.
We cried and cried until we had no more tears to give. All we have left is our love for you. We’re now ready to start the healing process and be better parents and people. We’ll let the love you’ve shown us over the past 7 years live on and guide us through to let us do and accomplish amazing things that we otherwise would not able to without you.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
