“But if you approach it with the right attitude, it’ll be pretty good.”

Dear Freshman,

A lot of the things you’re going to read and hear, including a lot of letters in this campaign, will talk about how Cornell is this incredible place, a modern Eden, and how every single person you meet here is an inspiration that will radically change your life. And while some of it may be true in a narrow sense, if you believe it and think that’s what your college experience should or will be, you will be in for a disappointment. But now for the good news! College is an amazing four-year opportunity to learn how to be an active, happy, grounded, independent adult. So here’s some advice that I think may be helpful for that goal:

Do not make college a constant alternation between work and partying. I have never heard a stupider philosophy than “work hard, play hard.” Not only is it stress-inducing and unhealthy, but it just sets up disappointment if, after you’ve done ten hours in the library, there’s not actually a party to go to that night. In college, you have a ton of free time. You don’t need to cram your schedule. Do your work solidly and diligently, and then take nice breaks to do whatever you like to do. One of my fondest memories at Cornell was when my friend and I were in the library during finals week and we were both really stressed, so we randomly decided to just leave the library and go see Frozen. We pathetically cried and laughed at every exact moment the movie wanted us to.

There is a world outside the Cornell bubble. When you’re stressing about an upcoming prelim, or maybe you’re having issues with your roommate, it’s easy to forget that Cornell is just another place. Get outside it. Take a walk. See a movie downtown at Cinemapolis. Go to a play at Ithaca College. Ithaca is a great city with a ton to do. Seeing people and walks of life not associated with Cornell will remind you that college is just a way-station to the rest of your long and fruitful life.

Join clubs. Cornell is a huge place and, as a result, it can often be hard to meet people because everybody isn’t just placed in the same room at the beginning of the year. Join a club that you think you will enjoy, and actually stick with it (believe me I know it’s tempting to just sign up for a million email lists). It’s perhaps the best way to meet like-minded people, and for Cornell to become a more intimate school.

People are more similar in their situations than you think. There are kids here who know a million people and are always busy off doing some social event, and for a while I thought they lived the lives of kings. But when you actually become close friends with someone like this, you learn that they have problems just like you, and sometimes even worse. They and their best friends are fighting and hate each other’s guts; they have nasty, unsupportive parents. What I’m trying to say is don’t compare yourself with others, because everybody has their own stuff going on.

Take diverse classes. Cornell’s academics are unparalleled, and this is your last chance where your job is to learn whatever you want. Take courses outside your major (I would especially recommend modern film courses considering you are literally watching movies for class). If you only take courses within your requirements and major, learning just becomes another item in the long list of stressful pains-in-the-butt in your life.

Take advantage of Cornell’s intellectual infrastructure. This is somewhat similar to number five, but a little different. The professors at Cornell are at the top of their field, and there is an interesting event on campus where you can hear them speak about their subjects happening literally every day. Whatever intellectual topic interests you, go to discussions about it. And even if you think nothing interests you, something will if you go. Of course, you have to be discerning; the more convoluted and jargon-y the name of the event, the more you should avoid it. Also, if you email them, professors are almost always willing to talk to you at length about whatever. Even if only for the reason that they want to hear themselves speak!) Another one of my fonder memories here is when I emailed a professor (who was never a professor of mine) whose podcast on ethics I occasionally listen to, and I just sat in his office for a while and talked about the podcast.

Be grounded. This is more general life advice, but this has helped me a lot here. What I mean by this is when you’re facing a low, just remind yourself that it is temporary and that it does not truly matter. Maybe it’s obvious, but I promise you will not remember what you got on that prelim in 30 years. The happy times I will remember at Cornell were when I just sat in a living room with a couple of friends and joked around, or when I would go to the movies alone. Those moments remind me that I am just an individual at this place for school, and the stresses of it are no more defining for me than middle school or high school were.

I know this letter may seem to have a negative or pessimistic tone. But I don’t think it actually does. I think what I’m trying to get at is that Cornell is no different than any other random four-year term in your life. It will automatically have ups, and automatically have downs. But if you approach it with the right attitude, it’ll be pretty good.

Jesse Weissman

jmw397@cornell.edu

Dear Cornell Freshmen,

Written by

Founded in 2016 and now re-launching in 2018, Dear Cornell Freshmen is a series of letters written by Cornell seniors, addressed to their freshman year selves.

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