Best Foot Forward

Dear Dharma
Jul 28, 2017 · 3 min read

Dear Dharma,

I just went on a date with the most incredible guy ever but I think I blew it!

We had an amazing dinner, and everything went so well that we decided to go back to his place for drinks. On my way there I realized I’m wearing flats without socks. No big deal, right? Yeah… not with my feet! They smell like a ripe turtle tank on a good day!

So we end up at his place and I just pretend it’s totally normal (and not rude) to keep my shoes on. I noticed he looked a bit disturbed when we started to make out and I still wore them.

It gets even worse! We got so engaged that a few more garments were dropped but I kept my shoes on! Let’s say that… I left fairly quickly after and never heard from him again! I texted a few times — no response.

Do you have any stealthy ninja tips for what to do next time?

Thanks,

Vicky

Dear Vicky,

Well. That was awkward… I would love to know what you said in your follow up texts!

I might have done things a bit differently in this case, because I honestly don’t think I could have gone through with keeping my shoes on through all of that! Talk about being distracted and waiting for the other shoe to drop!

When I got there, I would have excused myself to the washroom, and taken my purse with me. I would have twisted my legs all over the place to get my feet into the sink and I would have washed them. In his sink.

And then I would have cleaned his sink. It probably needed it anyway.

I would then have taken the offending shoes and jammed them into my purse and then buried said purse somewhere near the front door. He might have thought that weird when he walked you out later, that your shoes were in your purse, but by that point, who cares. Better than the alternative, right?

Okay, so going forward! I did a bit of research and found some great tips you might want to try out. I get that smelly feet and bad hygiene don’t necessarily go hand in hand… sometimes you can do all the right things and still suffer from this. So don’t think I’m implying that poor hygiene is the issue.

However, you should wash your feet every day with soap and water, even if it’s in someone’s sink, and make sure to dry thoroughly, including between your toes.

Wear shoes made of natural materials. Plastic shoes make your feet stink, it’s just a fact. Leather and other natural fabrics simply “breathe” better.

Rotate your shoes. Change them daily to give each pair a chance to air out before you wear them again. It might justify a shopping trip, but that’s okay, right?

Get odour protecting insoles and change them regularly. If they become moist, bacteria and fungus can thrive there. Yuck.

Soak your feet in diluted black tea or vinegar and water to help reduce foot odour. I don’t know if this works, but it sounded interesting.

Hope some of this helps — but if not, seriously… the sink.

Dharma

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Dear Dharma

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Dear Dharma is an advice columnist who strives to be fair, firm and funny all while dispensing sound advice to your everyday problems.

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