An Adoptee’s Survival Guide to Searching for Birth Family

What I wish I’d known before searching for my birth mother.

A candid image of me captured by my partner on a trip to Asheville, NC when I decided that I would search for my birth mother. I finally began my search in late 2016.

I’d always gotten compliments on my eyes; I wondered if I got my eyes from her.

Preparing & procrastinating the search

Curiosity initiates the search

Seeing my birth mother’s exquisite penmanship and reading her carefully curated words unzipped a spirit of inquiry that was a mystery even to me.

Preparedness is KEY: My Essential Survival Skills for Searching for and Finding My Birth Mother

Setting out to search for a birth parent is like setting sail for a survival trip on uncharted waters.

1 — Managing Great Expectations.

Validation isn’t belonging.

2 — Knowing my answer to the question: “What does this mean about me?”

3 — Source Support

4 — Nervous System Support

I’d love to hear from fellow adoptees — what would you put in your own “survival kit” for searching, reunifying, being rejected, or being ghosted?

I’m an adoptee, writer, creative, & marketing specialist. I write on topics like adoption, self-discovery, & the state of online marketing.

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