Love yourself enough to love others too
They’re so elitist, these fragile creatures who call themselves humans. If they’re fat they feel entitled to throw labels like “anorexic”, “too skinny”, “curveless”, etc. at those who physique lies at the opposite spectrum as theirs. If they’re skinny, they too feel self conscious and convince themselves it’s okay to boost their self esteem by defining skinny as “better than being fat”. Each person creates their own genre of “better-than-you” and, for some unknown reason, thinks their version is the more acceptable one. Guess what. It’s not. And there’s alot out there on the internet that talks to these folks about loving themselves, accepting who they are, etc. And I get it. That’s a beautiful thing. And I’m 100% in agreement with that. But most have this idea that in order to love themselves, they have to prove that they’re better than the next person. News flash! THAT’S NOT HOW IT ACTUALLY WORKS!! Loving themself doesn’t really have anything to do with another person. Just them. Notice that that little word, you, is actually hidden in the word “yourself”. (Who would have guessed, right?). I understand, though, how hard it can actually be to love yourself.
Look at me, for example. I’m young. I should be in the prime of my life, and in many ways I am. But there’s this other part. This part called I-have-lots-of-medical-conditions-that-have-changed-my-life. I can’t work. I can’t drive much. Most of my time is spent at doctors’ offices. My hair is falling out at an alarming rate. My body doesn’t convert glycogen to energy very well, so it uses all food I eat instantly, and I have lost enough weight that my bones are quite visible. I sometimes go unconscious. I don’t sleep much. I have had acne for many years. My vision is sometimes really messed up. I get dizzy alot. Some of my diseases cause mental problems. I was sexually abused for many years. I live in constant pain. Last summer I lost nearly all my belongings. And my home. I live with the knowledge that some of my conditions could take my life. This doesn’t really make it sound like I love myself very much, does it? Oh wait. Because that’s not actually me I just described. Yes, it is me that has been through all those things, and still deals with them. But it’s not who I am as a person. I’m not my sicknesses. I’m not my abuse. I’m not my weight. I’m not my job, or lack thereof. I’m not all my belongings that I had to get rid of. Yes, those things shaped me. They helped, and continue to help, make me who I am. But when I peel back the wrapper that is the situations life has dealt me, when I look through the broken windows of my exterior, when I scrub away the mud that’s fought to cover me, that’s when I find me. And what I find there, is worth loving. I can tenderly trace the scars on my heart, reminiscing about each battle fought, each battle won. I can smile when I recall the strength I’ve possessed, the power that I carry that’s brought me this far. My heart warms when I remember the times I’ve laughed, the times I’ve known true joy. I recall the humility that allowed me to accept the help that fought battles alongside with me, the help that allowed me to conquer. I see myself as a care-free child, and can recognize that same peace present in my life today. I also see the tears I’ve submitted to, and thank myself for being strong enough to cry. I think of the worry that’s had it’s harsh grip on me at times , and can realize it’s renewed and strengthened my faith. The despair I’ve known is recollected, and with it comes knowledge that, as hard as it was to go through, it renewed my courage. And this is who I am. And this is the me I love. You see, universe, people loving themselves isn’t really about loving their curves or their eyes or the colour of their hair (or even if they have any hair). It doesn’t have to do with the colour of their skin or their height. It doesn’t consider their income or whether or not they work at their dream job or if they have a partner. Yes, those all can be factors in loving themselves, but when they pull off the superficial blankets of race, size, relationship status, etc., when they look past their skin and into the deepest corners of their heart and soul, that’s where they find their true selves. And that’s the “you” they need to love first. If they don’t love that part of themself, they aren’t going to love the other factors that make up who they are. Oh yeah, maybe temporarily, but not a genuine love that radiates to others. And that’s what going to happen. When they love their inner self so truly and completely, they’re going to love other people sooner too. Because, just like they’ve learned to look at and love the inner most part of their being, that’s what they’re going to see when they look at others. They won’t see the eye colour or whether or not the person has a beard or a tattoo. They’re going to see their loyalty, or their happiness, or their honesty. Or maybe all three. Maybe other things. They’re going to realize the co-worker with the ratty hair who they always considered to be “frumpy” actually has an above-average IQ and an above-average level of patience. Loving themselves is going to put colour in places they thought only black existed. Loving themselves is magic. But it doesn’t happen over night. It doesn’t even happen in a week. And even if they think they might’ve got this whole “loving yourself” thing memorized, it’s going to take work to maintain it. It’s going to be choosing daily to love who they are. Just like every other relationship out there takes an effort to keep, this one is going to as well. But universe, please make them see that it’s totally worth it. Show them the beauty inside of themselves that truly deserves their love…….