Full Circle of Friendship
Really? It’s been almost 50 years? Where the does the time go?
I met my friend Mary in the printed pages of a hockey magazine’s pen pal section. You could say that this was the ancient version of social media. The center of the publication had about three or four pages of listings of people you could write to and become distant pals with. You picked your friend by their favorite National Hockey League teams. Of course, mine was (and still is) the Boston Bruins.
That journey of drafting the first letter began a lifelong friendship. Even though we only met in person once for three days — long before her husband was in her radar, long before her three sons were born, we never missed a beat staying in touch.
There were fewer letters as the years drew on. Life happens, and she did have three sons — a full line on a hockey team, I teased her. While we had similar viewpoints, likes, and philosophies, the one thing that put a kink in our Perfection Line (see what I did there?) was football. Especially after THAT NFC Championship Game when Joe Montana was knocked out of the game and bloody New York won by a field goal — I might have (only to her, of course) accused her husband of child abuse when I saw one of their sons in a Giants jersey. Hey, I was a serious 49ers fan in the Montana era. Ira loves the Giants, and Mary, of course, loves the Patriots, which with me being an Atlanta Falcons fan, is like that NFC Championship Game all over again. But I digress. Our football differences did not impede our enduring friendship.
In the beginning, we wrote letters back and forth every month. When a letter was received, you immediately answered it. Because I lived in Alberta, Canada and she lived in Massachusetts, USA, we couldn’t be further apart geographically. Therefore, a letter took a while to reach its destination. We sent pictures, shared stories, and most important, spoke of our love for the Bruins.
A Letter Out of the Blue
I’d say about three or so months after Mary and I started to write to each other, I received a very thick, nine-page letter from a person from New York City. Sharon, through a friend of Mary’s, learned about this pen pal who lived in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, and she just had to connect. It turned out that Sharon was a HUGE Bruce MacGregor fan, and he played center for the WHA Oilers after leaving the Rangers.
Sharon and I wrote each other as often. Our friendship was also lifelong. She wasn’t a football fan, but she was a loyal Rangers fan. She ended up playing an integral row in my career and my involvement in NHL hockey, but I’ll leave that story for another day.
The Meetup
I was out of high school. There was a really cool three-week tour that interested me, and I signed up for it. It would be my first vacation by myself without family. The trip was put on by some religious group. I am not religious outside of believing in God — never the going to church type. Anyway, the trip was a cruise around the Greek Islands with three days in Rome, Italy, and the bulk of the time in Israel. I always wanted to go to Israel.
Well, I got a call from the trip organizer, saying the tour was cancelled. Too many people were backing out because of some fighting in the Gaza Strip. I said, isn’t there always fighting in the Gaza Strip? Anyway, the deal was dead. So I hung up the phone, looked over at my mom, and said, “Well, it looks like I’m going to go see Sharon and Mary.”
The next call I made was to Sharon. We arranged that she would come to Calgary and Edmonton for 10 days and I would go to New York for 10 days with an excursion to Boston to see Mary. I have a post about my New York trip.
That train ride from Penn Station to Boston was epic. I just wished I took more pictures. The tracks rode along the shoreline and through Rhode Island and Connecticut, so essentially four states in a couple of hours.
I remember the view of leaving New York and seeing the city skyline get smaller and smaller through a myriad of train tracks. I was so curious about the scenery and the history behind all of it. One thing was for sure. Riding a passenger train was the best way to travel. It was so comfortable compared to a bus or airplane, roomier, and there were beverages.
Bruins Country
My time in Boston was too short. I stayed in Peabody with Mary’s family. Her dad was so much fun to talk to.
Because she had a car, Mary drove us around Boston and the area so I could soak in the sites. What struck me was the history. My goodness, it was breathtaking. I loved how the sixteenth century buildings were amassed between the modern-built buildings. It was just so unique. There was also something about the city, even without knowing my favorite hockey team lived there. I have spoken to others about this, too, and they agreed that it would only take as long as the time it took to pack a suitcase to decide to move there.
The closest I ever got to the Boston Gardens was the blurry picture from the freeway above, but it was summer. There was no hockey or training camp. Some of the highlights of that excursion were The House of Seven Gables and the town of Salem. Again, preserved history. Where I was from in the West, the population was only a couple of hundred years old, not centuries. Big difference in architecture.
Again, I kicked myself for not taking enough pictures. How did I make that trip and not get a picture of me with Mary? It was the same for her. Her dad or brother could have taken the shot. Or any of her friends we met with. Word of advice to others: always take too many pictures. You will never regret it years later.
Fast Forward To 2022
I received a Facebook message from Mary that said her son was coming to Calgary. He was playing in a band and if I had time, maybe I could go see him? If I had time? Are you kidding? I could have a date with Brad Pitt and I still would have ditched him to see Jake. Or forced him to come with me, which is what I actually did with another friend of mine. Although being my partner in beer, there wasn’t much arm-twisting involved.
At The Palace night club in downtown Calgary, my friend Manny and I showed up early enough to catch the first of the three bands in the lineup. There were supposed to be four bands, but one had to cancel due to Covid.
Today, thanks to Google’s Android, I had the ability to take as many pictures and videos as my finger could shoot. No purchasing and loading of film was required this time.
Manny and I loved the experience. We might have been the oldest people in the house, but we were no strangers to clubbing and partying.
All I knew was that Jake was in the band Oso Oso. I learned he played bass when they came on stage. They were also pretty damn good. I really wasn’t sure what to expect. Being a hard rocker who used to frequent the raunchiest biker bars for the hardest metal, I learned to like the club scene with its music mixtures as they replaced the metal bars. Today the bands are even more diverse.
Of course, using a smartphone has its challenges, especially when the subject at hand keeps moving around like a magpie. After about 90 shots, I narrowed it down to about 35, to which some only had one member or slight blurs — okay for “artistic” posts.
There wasn’t much time to spend with Jake after the performance, as the band was about to immediately head off to its next destination. I got enough time to share a few words, take a selfie (although it was so dark that I needed a photo filter to lighten it up).
It was a true full-circle moment. Even better, Jake was close to the same age Mary and I were when we first met in person.
What I learned about Jake after that concert was even more remarkable. We had a lot in common. We were both creatives. He was the TV show Empire in real life — a frigging music mogul. He signed artists to his label: Counter Intuitive Records. It was probably a good thing I didn’t know at the time we met. He might have missed his next gig with all the things we had to talk about.
The Lesson for the Social Media Age
I am active on social media platforms, especially Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and now TikTok. What I learned from all of them is that a) you don’t know who people know (which is true in all networking); b) if you open your mind to connect with those you don’t know, you could meet your next best friend or person who can change your life; c) you could eventually meet these connections offline.
The best decision I ever made in my life was to purchase that subscription to Inside Hockey magazine. Who knows where my life might have ended up if I hadn’t? I know one thing for sure, I wouldn’t have had this epic full circle of friendship moment.
Writer, Storyteller, Public Relations; Brand Ambassador and Community Manager for Stage 32; lockerroomforgrowth.com; debbieelicksen.com
