Stop Seeking Approval.

Improving our lives means facing the truth and that can be tricky. Are you stuck in a cycle of seeking approval? Take a big courageous breath and have a read.

It is time to stop kidding yourselves? Seriously some of you are like this child stuck behind this fence feeling left out, lost and judging others for not being there behind that fence with you, where you expect them to be. Your truths, the things you believe about others are keeping you miserable. Even though you are trying so hard to prove to the outside world you are so happy.

Why

Some of you think you have got over stuff and are liberated from the bondage of the chains, but really you are still locked in. Your social news feeds show the complexity of your mind and the opposite of what your posts would have people believe.

Protest

‘Thou doth protest too much’ … Your posts declaring to the world that you realise who your friends are, where you are better off and how life is much better with these realisations reveals that you are still stuck in the cycle of seeking social approval.

Brutal

I know it seems brutal to say this, all you have done is swapped sides. You’ve gone from seeking the approval of those you have moved away from to now seeking the approval of those who have done the same. So the very thing you are trying to overcome you really haven’t. You are so angry at yourself and others that you are trying to prove to the outside world you really are OK. Truth is, you are not OK you are just pretending and still blaming others for your own weakness. For those of us that have been there and moved through it, it is glaringly obvious.

Stop

Draw a line. Now is the time to really let it all go. Turn it all around and face up to the fact that you are still really avoiding looking in the mirror. You see if you were really in a peaceful state of mind and you really had found that inner peace you are trying to convince everyone you have, you would not be shouting about others behaviour the way you do. Nor would you feel about people the way you do. Perhaps you are avoiding the truth because the pain is too much to bare, that at the core of all this it is you causing yourself unnecessary pain and heartache. Truly liking yourself and not needing approval of anyone would leave you in a state of mind that would not have you putting all your friendships / relationships under a microscope and over analysing them.

Question

Would you want to be your friend right now, knowing what is really going on inside your head, the thoughts you have towards others and the pretence you are displaying to the outside world? They say you attract what you really think of, you can’t hide from your thoughts so perhaps what you are attracting right now is down to you. Perhaps you need to take a closer look and delve deeper and deal with yourself.

Truth

Peace of mind, great friendships and true inner joy can only be yours when you have really dumped all the baggage and moved on. You’ll know you’ve moved on when you stop telling the world you have moved on and expecting so much from others. Each of us possesses the ability to heighten our emotional intelligence. Many won’t try to develop a higher EQ because it is the most uncomfortable thing you will ever do. It reveals our weaknesses and pride likes to keep those hidden. You deserve to be free of your bondage.

Liberate

I’ll bet without all this clogging up your mind you make the most awesome friend and one day you will teach others how you cured your approvalitis and many lives will be improved as a result. First you have to free yourself and stop pretending you are healed of your past when you are clearly displaying it in your present. You cannot reach out and offer others healing if you are not healed. You cannot find healing in those that are not healed. You cannot heal if you are still licking your wounds. Give yourself and others a break.

Let it all go. Life really is to short.