Use Your Words Wisely

Say the right thing at the right time.

Have you ever said something you know was totally inappropriate and thought ‘uh oh’ now is not the right time, or ‘Ouch’ I shouldn’t have said that? You wish you could rewind the conversation. You know it may have caused offense or hurt the other persons feelings I am sure it has happened to most of us, even the most articulate communicators will have got it wrong at one time or another.

Don’t beat yourself up

Let’s draw a line and begin to accept we need to harness the power of our words and use them for good intention not bad. To build others up not destroy them. Imagine if the words you use with others, gives them hope, helps them see a new view point, restores their faith and encourages them.

Your words become a tool to positively influence the world around you.

Knowing the right words to say can be difficult for some people and you may feel that at times. The reality is what we say is shaped by our thinking and what is really in our hearts.

‘As a man thinketh in his heart so is he’ Proverbs 23:7

You may have often thought you wish your mind would have thought about it first before your mouth opened. Well your mind did think about it and that’s why the words tumbled out. We cannot say anything we are not thinking.

Our words are our thoughts!

We need to turn our thinking around and have a good mind cleanse, if your thoughts are judgemental, negative in any way and not aligned positively to the person you are speaking to you run the risk of speaking out of turn and upsetting others. Sometimes people do this on purpose to genuinely hurt others. If this is you, it is time to STOP this behaviour.

Get yourself aligned to thinking positively especially when you are with others. When you are in a position of influencing others, a parent, a partner, a sibling, a teacher, a mentor, a business owner, an employee, an employer, in fact any role you have in life you are influencing other, we are all influencers, there is always someone who looks to us for direction.

Be mindful and ALWAYS have your mind set in the right space.

If you are having any negative thoughts about someone then think twice before speaking even if you think you can control your words, your body language, eye contact and tone of voice will give off an indirect signal to the other person. Think about when you have spoken to someone and you know their words are not genuine. You knew because of all the other physical clues you were given. We are very intuitive beings and highly sensitive to body language and physical signals, as we are wired for protection, so it is second nature for us to be constantly unconsciously scanning for all of this information when others talk to us. The same as they will be doing when they talk to you.

I was speaking at an event yesterday, and during the day I met and spoke with lots of new people, whose words were empty and wrapped around an ulterior motive of seeing if I was someone they could sell to whilst pretending to be interested in my work, their words were not backed up with the matching body language. It showed a lack of self awareness. I urge you if you are not already, to become aware of your mind set when you are speaking to people.

Remove any hidden agendas and only have good intentions when you are going to communicate with others.

Be someone whose words are like scaffolding they support people and make them feel held up not put down. Even when you have to have a conversation with someone about something that is not what we would consider positive. You can use the right words by having the right positive outcome in mind.

Whatever you are thinking at this moment ask yourself, will these thoughts empower me or disempower me? When talking to others ask the same, will my thoughts empower me when I talk to them and empower them or will they disempower?

How does your thinking affect your relationships, friendships, life?