Slowly : An Essay about Purpose

Slowly, we’ll get there. It feels like an enchanting mantra that I keep repeating on myself. My mind keep on moving in the direction I don’t want to, till that words passing by. Soothe my relentless memories of the past ghosts. Memories that my mind try to get rid of.

I don’t want to blame for what my mind been doing to me lately. It’s normal for it to be aware of something that essential for my own survival. Yet I think it already goes too far from normal and caused me a lot of distress. Slowly, we’ll get there. Mind, there’s no need of hurry.

In the days of living I see that we all trying to make some purpose in life. It’s great to find one, you know. Not everyone really know their meaning of existence. But, having one is not an easy task also. One can be so obsessed on reaching their goals even it costs their own life. They become a machine with a static life where their actions only directed to it. As I said, they become a machine, not a human being.

I see myself already in a borderline between becoming a machine or a human being. I know that I have a really big dream that not only serve myself, but also humanity. Yet in the process of doing so, my mind is so fixated with it until I can’t think right for myself. Not in a million years I want to be such a machine I’ve mentioned about, but unconsciously I almost trapped in that notion. God, almost.

A purpose should be giving ourselves a sense of direction. With it we know where we going and what we’ll achieve. Yet, it’s premature to think that one goal is the only one. As life is full of uncertainty and obsession of one thing is a symptoms of mental illness. There are a lot of paths open themselves for us to step in, how selfish we are when we think that “the way” is already ours. Out of the hook a little bit, as we are the one who choose the purpose and should not be determined by it.

I know, maybe you are on your way achieving your biggest dream that already been a part of your life. I know, that you hope by reaching it you can be happy. But happiness is not about having things, but accepting. An acceptance you make that you are in a process and there’s no need to hurry, at all.