What Is This For?

I want to cut my hair short. I want to cut it shorter than my current hair. I do not know since when I care much on my appearance, but today this question seems unappealing. This is the time when people must put concern on how they look and any question about this is a form of inability to compete.

I’ve tried my very best to follow the current fashion mode, but the more I try, the more I feel left behind. It simply costs me more than I could afford. A watch counts for almost 1 billion? A sleeve of clothe for 350k rupiahs? Conditioner for 100k in 100 ml, and etc., you name it. I might be in the very first step to be fashionable and I certainly want to get out!

Just call me ‘poor lad’ and maybe that’s what I am. I don’t get much money and even when I do, it’s better for me to spend it somewhere else. What’s happening lately make me think on since when we need all of these stuffs? Since when fitting in fashion standard become a ‘must’ where seems no other option available? These questions are tugging me in a way I couldn’t reply.

I might not know the real answer for I haven’t done any research about it. All I can do is assume that our current way of living diminish the gap of ‘wanting’ and ‘having’. Bombarded with thousands of advertisements daily is enough to increase our knowledge of something higher and when we know it’s available, we begin intensely crave for it. The moment when we fit the standard, there it is the moment when we achieve what we want the most, the recognition as a fashionable modern man/woman.

That title maybe will never be entitled to me and I accept it very well. One thing that I can’t stop, but worrying is how could I live beyond the standard? It’s been a part of me for so long and I am aware that it helped me to fit in. Living without a tool is as scary as living under the regime of tool. Crafting my own way of living is nothing but another trial and error process in the moment when I have no enough energy and time to put an effort on. I am just a cry baby, a critic of nothing solved.

However, at least I raised a question. At least I mentioned that our current way of look/living isn’t the only one to pursue. At least I’m trying to figure out something else within the readily acceptable culture through this writing, even though I don’t really know what its’ impact will be. Yet, here I come to be.