Or Why Do So Few Guys Clean Out their Refrigerators? — When I started dating again after being widowed at fifty, I wondered, where are the men who act like grown ups? The ones who get their gutters cleaned, keep their homes reasonably tidy, have edible food in their refrigerators, and want a life partner instead of easy sex. The ones who want a love that lasts. Even though they know it isn’t always easy.

When I started dating at fifty after losing my husband, my biggest surprise was that everyone was disillusioned. Most of the men I met weren’t expecting much beyond an empathy machine. One long single guy opened our date with, “I realized I so excited to meet you because you haven’t…

Why Love Shouldn’t be like Working at a Law Firm — I’ve been hearing lately from several guys who are having trouble getting follow up dates. My best advice: To find love, develop your empathy muscle. In my experience, many middle-aged men have let it atrophy. Why dating is like a law firm. Let’s go back to the early nineties when I was a young attorney at a…

I used to think I was a professional failure, until I realized I’d been set up to fail. — I’m an attorney who retired at 40. I used to practice insurance coverage law (we’re known as “coverage geeks”) which involves interpreting insurance policies. To most people, it’s about as exciting as it sounds. Except that I actually used to get excited about it. Some of the cases I worked…

How to Take no Prisoners when Love becomes Litigation. — When I was young, there was no internet so people had to meet in real life, knowing full well they might run into each other again. …

At almost 60, I am a lawyer and homeowner. Never before have I been called a welfare queen so thank you, Patti, for making me feel like I’ve entered the modern age.

I had no idea dating at midlife would be such a power struggle. — In 2013, I lost my husband to cancer after having spent 32 years together; he was my high school prom date, my one and only. Fourteen months later, still missing him beyond measure, I decided to try online dating even though I hadn’t dated since 1980 when I was a…

Or Time for the Lysistrata Method — I’ve been reading lately about the difficulties women over thirty-five face in finding a good man. Statistically, it’s even worse for those of us over fifty. My conclusion: Dating itself has failed us. Originally, dating led to marriage. Sex was coupled with commitment, and accountability was paramount. If a guy…

Thanks so much, Ahona. Sorry to hear the man child is a multi-generational thing. (And the comments...I know!)