I began my design career with the intent of working towards making the world a little better with every design project I made. I started out with bright eyes and high aspirations. Over time, I have found myself becoming more and more jaded, brought down by the lack of creativity I actually get to expend in any given day. I continue to have a “day job” which pays the bills and zaps all of the energy I should be using to do the things that I love to do. I find myself too tired to work on homework and too overwhelmed to do anything but watch a bit of TV or play on my phone. Anything to escape the workload looming over my head at any given moment.
What it comes down to, is I’m depressed. It’s a vicious cycle that is only compounded by the lifestyle that I lead. Every year I find myself in this exact position. I think to myself, “What happened to that motivation I had at the end of summer? What happened to the girl who was so excited to buy a book about hand lettering?” The answer? She’s buried. She’s buried under the crap that is everyday life as a grad student. She’s buried under the expectations of other people. She’s buried under a pile of debt.
But my dear friends, at the end of the day I am still here. Even if you can’t see me. Even if you can’t hear me yelling profanities from the bottom of the pile, I am here. I’m here to remind myself, and to remind you, that all of this is temporary. This stack of papers will blow away to join the rest of the trash in Town Lake, soon to be replaced by a new pile. This revolving mountain of To-Do lists and bills will not go away. Instead of wallowing in it and feeling hopeless, I will doodle away on them, making the world around me a little better, a little more palatable every step of the way.