Do Not Stay
Do Not Stay …
Do not stay where you can not be seen for who and what you are.
And make sure that YOU take personal responsibility for being exactly who and what you are.
That’s equally important but nearly impossible in an unsupportive environment .
I used to take it personally but now, in retrospect I can see that who and what I was , was outside the scope and frame of reference of who I was with. And it was my job to be it, not their job to get it .
We spend so much time trying to fit in and make it work. Why ? Because we are social , tribal creatures and for 1000’s of years our very survival has relied on it. Until it’s not . Until it’s killing you off.
It’s important that we get along and to some degree are socialized enough to ‘fit in’.
But like the frog in hot water , getting along , can slowly erode the very thing that makes us our unique selves. That’s when we tip the scales in the reverse and our ‘life’ is threatened.
That’s not an understatement . How much depression and anxiety , heart disease and mysterious nondescript illness do you think we can attribute to people not being themselves? Not being accepted for who they are?
Not finding an environment supportive enough to even explore the options?
You’ll start to act out, seeking excitement , risk and thrill in unhealthy ways to make up for the excitement , risk and thrill that it takes to evolve. Ya gotta get outta your comfort zone for that . Courage and vulnerability are the hallmarks .
The other thing you may find yourself doing is numbing out — Netflix, alcohol, mindless scrolling, shopping, working till all hours. Running became one of my numbing activities.
If your going to continue growing you’ll continue redefining yourself and people , groups, jobs, friendship circles, will come and go , as you move through that process.
That’s hard. It is loss — and even good loss hurts a little.
Take notice of who says, ‘I’m glad I get to experience this version of you too’. They are your people. You need them like air.
Do not stay in that job, that relationship, that group, that church , that profession . Do. Not. Stay.
And for God’s sake do not think it home.
It is too painful to not be seen . And it’s your responsibility to shine so that you can be seen. It’s not other people’s job to let you know how reduced you are in their company. That’s on you.
Do Not Stay .
Go where you are celebrated , not tolerated, ignored or considered ordinary.
Let me assure you :- You are not ordinary !
